lets try this again....

we have a new strategy ....

(this post was from yesterday and she LOVES her bed and it helped her sleep later this morning, i think she was waking up early cause she'd get cold by the morning and not keep any blanket on... she has warm jammies but the heater doesn't get her room that warm.... but on this bed she keeps her blanket on. she just wants to climb into it and lay down all the time)

carissa

one of my oldest, actually i think definitely my oldest friend, got married today. when she told me she was getting married i was a little shocked and i wouldn't say 'worried' but yea kinda worried... it was just so fast, not that i didn't get married fast... which probably made me that much more worried because i know how hard it can be when its done fast... anyway as time went on and the wedding got closer i just started to feel peace about it and then today as i was helping her get ready i just felt soooo happy for her and so excited for her... their wedding was so beautiful, and it wasn't anything the pastor said, it was just seeing the truth in their eyes, the sincerity and love in their hearts.... they meant what they said... i go to lots of weddings and i always think 'ok, this is nice' but that's about it... but her wedding just reminded of the amazing splendor that marriage really is and how wonderful it is to see two people in love vow their hearts and trust to each other in front of all the people who love them, to hear them speak those words just reminded me of how strong and beautiful marriage can be... to watch two people say to each other that no matter what happens and how hard it gets they the only thing that matters is that they want each other, they love that other person... deep inside, they know who they are and that's why they want to promise to be with them, support them, forgive them, take care of them forever. carissa and i used to lay in her bed and talk about when we'd get married someday and have kids, how our kids would be friends, all those girl things. carissa always dreamed so much of being in love and i'm just beyond thankful that she has found that love. i'm so happy for her.

if you ever told me to read velvet elvis...

thank you.


there were a lot of you.

seth and i have made it our 'potty book' and both of us feel like we have found our soulmate.


its so good to finally feel understood, yea he doesn't know me, but i can tell by what he writes that he would understand me, because its exactly the things i've been thinking and saying all this time. its like a huge sigh of relief for me, just to feel like i'm not alone.

i've got a question for anyone and everyone

this is going to be a little graphic... so if you can't handle poop talk, dont read this and you probably should also never hang out with me.. hahah.... but seriously...

so ever since i started eating really healthy i've been able to see almost everything i eat in my poop, i've tried to look this up online but no one has answers and i haven't even seen anyone saying it happens to them. when i say i can see what i eat i'm not talkin the occasional bean or piece of corn its like if i eat chocolate cake one night, the next morning LITERALLY my poop is the SAME texture as chocolate cake, and a lot of times the same color, its so close i want to take a picture because i really dont think people understand just from me telling them (but its shit, so i dont). its sooooooo weird. i see peppercinis, salmon, spinach.... i dont know if this means i'm getting what i need and the rest is getting passed or if it means i have bad digestion.... the thing is, when my poop is like this i feel great, i'm poopin a lot and fast and i feel healthy and good, plus my poop looks exactly like dr. oz says it should, only with stuff in it.... so i dont really worry about it too much, but since its been like this for so long and anyone who i've told thinks its super insane i thought maybe i should look into it a little. i wouldn't pay money to go see a naturopath or doctor unless something else was going wrong, and the internet had no answers... so i'm asking you. does anyone else have this issue or does anyone have info about it that i dont?

creepy

so myspace had to delete my photo i just put up of arabella with her diaper... i dont really get why because it was the same as if there was a picture of her IN a diaper (which there are many of on my myspace) since i censored it, its kind of ridiculous when they can keep sick girls taking pictures of themselves with gnarly cleave or no clothes except tiny tiny pieces of crap covering their nipples, not to mention whatever the hell that 'booty shakin' video is on the enter page.... but some idiot must have 'reported' it.... to whoever did... LAME.

i'm awesome

i got inspired while talking to flo today because she was making chili and since i'm not eating dairy i especially wanted to have some good beans and rice.... so i went to the store and got some things i needed and i made a recipe for vegetarian chili and it was AWESOME. plus i made homemade whole wheat corn bread because we always want cornbread with chili but its sooooo bad from a box.... anyway mine was awesome it wasn't as sweet and it didn't have that chemical after taste.

my chili had... (all my recipes for dinner are just ingredients, no measurements)
diced tomatoes
half a can of tomato paste
kidney beans and pinto beans
brown and wild rice
bell pepper
onions
veggie broth
chili powder
cumin
salt and pepper

corn bread (i'm still going to eat eggs cause i dont think they make me feel bad)
1 cup corn meal
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup raw sugar
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 cup soy milk
1/3 cup veg oil
1 egg

mix the dry, mix the wet, add them together bake for 20 mins on 400.

it was sooooo good. i really feel like its hard to find a really good vegetarian chili so i'm super super excited that i made this one. it will definitely be repeated.

vegan

so when i was sick i was only eating veggie soup with tofu everyday and only like one bowl, just because most of the day i was asleep and also i felt like crap so i wasn't very hungry.... anyway first of all my stomach COMPLETELY shrunk not only on the outside (i lost somewhere between 2-5 lbs) but the amount i eat also.... plus since the whole week i ate absolutely no dairy, the first time i ate dairy i got sick and ended up having the weirdest stomach ache i've ever had and diarrhea for the next two days. i wasn't sure what exactly it was at first because it didn't feel like morning sickness but it didn't feel like i was sick... anyway i finally felt better when i ate some thai food with no dairy in it and ever since then anytime i eat ANY dairy, like a tiny bit of butter on toast i feel sick, and its this weird sick that i used to feel anytime i had like a glass of milk and then took a nap but i have never felt it just eating a tiny bit of dairy without falling asleep.. i dont know if this whole blog makes sense because i'm on the phone with flo while typing this... anyway all this to say, i think i have to be a vegan now which is kind of stressful because it will be even harder to get enough protein, which is especially important while i'm pregnant cause low protein can lead to Preeclampsia.....