the past few weeks i've felt a lot of pressure in my pelvis/ on my cervix and this past week its gotten really really bad... to the point where most of the time, its really painful to walk.... and at night every time i turn from one side to the other its super painful and i feel popping in the back of my pelvis... the other night i was having cramps (like menstrual cramps) and randomly i feel sharp pains on my cervix.. i've also been having a lot of braxton hicks lately, which is totally normal but just with everything else made me feel a little bit worried, cause i never even had them with arabella....
so anyway today i thought maybe i should call my midwife and ask her about it... she had me come down to see her as soon as i could. she checked my cervix and stuff... ha.. and said it was very soft, almost effaced and open slightly on the outside... she said that usually with a second baby its expected to be softer and open earlier etc, but that this is very early and with everything else she wants me to be on 'bed rest' or as much relaxing as i can be the next few days to see how that affects it all... she said there's definitely a risk of pre term labor, which would be horrible... but she said she thinks that maybe this is all just because i'm fatigued, so hopefully if i get rest it will get better.
so this is gonna be hard. i'm the WORST at just laying back and letting other people do all the stuff... plus its not that easy to do with a little muffin runnin around....
are you still doing the 'case of the mondays' contest travis?
Monday, September 15, 2008
goak
we went to avila valley barn...
she was kind of obsessed with the rooster... and she also really loved the 'goaks' (goats) one of whom was going to have a baby just like mama... which she also liked.
she was kind of obsessed with the rooster... and she also really loved the 'goaks' (goats) one of whom was going to have a baby just like mama... which she also liked.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
overwhelmed.
grateful.
hopeful.
thankful.
peaceful.
that's what i started to feel this thursday when seth came home and told me....
... so we bought a condo 3 years ago. we had inheritance money from seth's grandfather and we thought it would be good to put it in something, as most do. we bought at the peak, we got a loan in seth's parents name as they graciously offered since we had no credit, we didn't think long about the decision we were making, we didn't exactly make it in unison, and we got into a very bad loan.
the past 3 years have been everything i have dreamed of as far as my husband, my marriage, my daughter... but there has been a burden on our hearts everyday knowing our house was costing more than we could afford and going down rapidly in value. as time has passed we became more and more stuck... and at the same time our family has grown. it has blown us away how somehow seth has worked very hard and made/been blessed with a successful graphic design company without which we would never have even begun to be able to survive... but at the same time knowing that with as much as he makes would shouldn't be struggling to survive every month and the only reason we have been is this 'home' ... the place we're supposed to feel at complete peace in.
recently we had decided to take the 50,000 dollar loss, end up with a 20,000 dollar loan and nothing to show for it, if there was any way we could sell the place at all. before we got it on the market two condos in our complex went up for sale for 20-30,000 dollars less than we were hoping and praying to be able to sell our house for.
so here came the news seth brought home...
his parents decided to take over the house for us.
to rent it out and wait however long for the market.
really in the end this somehow works out to be the only 'win, win' for the four of us... and for seth and i it feels like our life as a family is really going to start now.
i've felt like we've been on the edge of being our own for so long, and after having arabella there was this immediate feeling of there being something more to our family... a growing that couldn't take place here, in this home, in this town we've always known... everything the same.
we have dreamed of moving to a place we love that is new and our own... a place where we become a family all our own and have to work that out without all those who know us so deeply right there. an independence.
this dream has finally come to be reality because of the love seth parents are pouring out on us through this life changing gift.
i can't describe how i feel, i have never felt so thankful, so freed, so hopeful ... and my feelings haven't all surfaced yet either....
i just know that this is big and it is so good.
its love and its God.
hopeful.
thankful.
peaceful.
that's what i started to feel this thursday when seth came home and told me....
... so we bought a condo 3 years ago. we had inheritance money from seth's grandfather and we thought it would be good to put it in something, as most do. we bought at the peak, we got a loan in seth's parents name as they graciously offered since we had no credit, we didn't think long about the decision we were making, we didn't exactly make it in unison, and we got into a very bad loan.
the past 3 years have been everything i have dreamed of as far as my husband, my marriage, my daughter... but there has been a burden on our hearts everyday knowing our house was costing more than we could afford and going down rapidly in value. as time has passed we became more and more stuck... and at the same time our family has grown. it has blown us away how somehow seth has worked very hard and made/been blessed with a successful graphic design company without which we would never have even begun to be able to survive... but at the same time knowing that with as much as he makes would shouldn't be struggling to survive every month and the only reason we have been is this 'home' ... the place we're supposed to feel at complete peace in.
recently we had decided to take the 50,000 dollar loss, end up with a 20,000 dollar loan and nothing to show for it, if there was any way we could sell the place at all. before we got it on the market two condos in our complex went up for sale for 20-30,000 dollars less than we were hoping and praying to be able to sell our house for.
so here came the news seth brought home...
his parents decided to take over the house for us.
to rent it out and wait however long for the market.
really in the end this somehow works out to be the only 'win, win' for the four of us... and for seth and i it feels like our life as a family is really going to start now.
i've felt like we've been on the edge of being our own for so long, and after having arabella there was this immediate feeling of there being something more to our family... a growing that couldn't take place here, in this home, in this town we've always known... everything the same.
we have dreamed of moving to a place we love that is new and our own... a place where we become a family all our own and have to work that out without all those who know us so deeply right there. an independence.
this dream has finally come to be reality because of the love seth parents are pouring out on us through this life changing gift.
i can't describe how i feel, i have never felt so thankful, so freed, so hopeful ... and my feelings haven't all surfaced yet either....
i just know that this is big and it is so good.
its love and its God.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
the best
seth.
as you can probably see my blog is super cute now.
my sweet husband made it for me.
he really is the best to me... making me a blog, waking up at 6am with ara every day and letting me sleep in, always being ridiculously understanding even when its almost impossible to get me.
i am so in love with him and so thankful for him.
and i'm so excited for this new blog he made me, what a sweet sweet.
dont you think?
as you can probably see my blog is super cute now.
my sweet husband made it for me.
he really is the best to me... making me a blog, waking up at 6am with ara every day and letting me sleep in, always being ridiculously understanding even when its almost impossible to get me.
i am so in love with him and so thankful for him.
and i'm so excited for this new blog he made me, what a sweet sweet.
dont you think?
let the leaves change
second blog right in a lil row... but i dont like mixing two separate ideas or issues.
i love summer. i have loved summer better than any other season my whole life. i love warm nights, i love scorching hot days, i love the sun staying up late, i love passing empty schools knowing the kids are at the pool or playing with their friends...
but i am READY for fall and even winter.. i dont even think i have ever had the feeling of wanting summer to end. maybe its because i'm pregnant and i can't even take a walk outside since its 96-100 everyday, or that i constantly have to tell my daughter 'its too hot outside' when she wants to go out, or maybe its that the fall and winter now remind me of the beginning days of arabellas life... but whatever it is i'm so ready... and this past week it has gotten cold finally! its been like 75 during the day and 50s at night... i love having to use my blankets on my bed.. and today i got to wear a sweater!!!
i'm excited to have nola in the cold and get to lock ourselves inside and be cozy as we get to know our new little family member. maybe this is me transitioning to a person who really will be able to live in bend. now if our house could only transition into a house that can be sold....
we could go.
i love summer. i have loved summer better than any other season my whole life. i love warm nights, i love scorching hot days, i love the sun staying up late, i love passing empty schools knowing the kids are at the pool or playing with their friends...
but i am READY for fall and even winter.. i dont even think i have ever had the feeling of wanting summer to end. maybe its because i'm pregnant and i can't even take a walk outside since its 96-100 everyday, or that i constantly have to tell my daughter 'its too hot outside' when she wants to go out, or maybe its that the fall and winter now remind me of the beginning days of arabellas life... but whatever it is i'm so ready... and this past week it has gotten cold finally! its been like 75 during the day and 50s at night... i love having to use my blankets on my bed.. and today i got to wear a sweater!!!
i'm excited to have nola in the cold and get to lock ourselves inside and be cozy as we get to know our new little family member. maybe this is me transitioning to a person who really will be able to live in bend. now if our house could only transition into a house that can be sold....
we could go.
ara bara update
i love that she loves wearing necklaces barrettes and boots with nothin but chonies.
we went downtown this morning and her favorite thing is going on the elevator in barnes and noble... so here she is as a big girl pushin the button, waiting with her purse and riding the elevator. then... the dreaded... she picked out a book and it was a cheetah girls book. yikes. (pretty much seth's least favorite thing in the world. besides maybe the videos from my last post , oh wait thats our most favorite thing)
and then my favorite thing happened... we were walking holding hands and i felt her stop i turned around and she had her head laid against a metal ledge... when she lifted it up we walked away and i said 'what were you doing' and she said 'huggies' and then she said 'kisses!!!' and she turned ran back to the metal ledge and kissed it. she came back to me, we walked away and then she pretty much kissed and hugged everything we passed. i took some pictures cause i was dyin. her little heart has so much love to give she had to give some of it to inanimate objects just to use it up.
brick walls...
windows....
shoe displays...
flowers...
benches...
trees...
it was a fun morning.
we went downtown this morning and her favorite thing is going on the elevator in barnes and noble... so here she is as a big girl pushin the button, waiting with her purse and riding the elevator. then... the dreaded... she picked out a book and it was a cheetah girls book. yikes. (pretty much seth's least favorite thing in the world. besides maybe the videos from my last post , oh wait thats our most favorite thing)
and then my favorite thing happened... we were walking holding hands and i felt her stop i turned around and she had her head laid against a metal ledge... when she lifted it up we walked away and i said 'what were you doing' and she said 'huggies' and then she said 'kisses!!!' and she turned ran back to the metal ledge and kissed it. she came back to me, we walked away and then she pretty much kissed and hugged everything we passed. i took some pictures cause i was dyin. her little heart has so much love to give she had to give some of it to inanimate objects just to use it up.
brick walls...
windows....
shoe displays...
flowers...
benches...
trees...
it was a fun morning.
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