well, it happened.

my baby got sick.

i picked ara up from school... she was just as normal as ever, running around, laughing, happy, hugging her friends... on the drive home she was fussy, kinda weird but i just thought she was tired. her nap is usually right when she gets home from school.

we walked in, she went to hug seth, turned looked at me and threw up all over.

she threw up about 6 more times until she fell asleep about two hours later. poor hunny.

i was able to sit with her without one little bit of anxiety. i put towels under her while she laid down and i got a bowl for her to throw up in. nola was sleeping which was AMAZING. i dont know what i would have done with her all up in ara's grill while she was trying to throw up.

it was the saddest thing i've ever seen in my entire life. her tiny little body in so much pain and she was SO calm and collected about it. i was very proud of her.

this is a very big deal because i have wondered how i would handle this when it came, if i'd be able to do it and if i could if i would still be freaking out inside. no freaking.

i feel so thankful that i could be there for her and take care of her and make the whole sick situation be as comfortable, safe and peaceful as possible.

she's better now and in bed.

(in case you haven't read before and you're wondering why this is such a big deal.... i've been an emetophobic my entire life until recently)

anyone who is family...

just walk away from the computer RIGHT now.

i'm serious.

unless its those rouge fam members (you know who you are).

alright. here it is.

(and that's a cute one)

i know i just made your night.

bummer.

not cool

this

is


sick

"what is that?" you ask...
oh they're just multiple boxes of fruit snacks, with characters on them, right at a two year olds eye level.
no biggie.

so normally i dont go to the regular grocery store, unless i'm running in real fast to grab formula, ice, or alcohol, you know, the basics. anyway, we went full on shopping at Vons the other day because i didn't want to go to a thousand stores to get all the things i needed and out of all the regular stores Vons has the most easily accessible, fairly prices organic food while also carrying things like ice, alcohol and organic (and cheap) formula. so while i'm there i go into culture shock. i can't EVEN believe the food that is there for starters, secondly the way they market food towards children is DISGUSTING. there are characters on EVERYTHING. well everything that is bad for them anyway. no wonder we have obese children. i see so many parents out and about every day who obviously have no control over their children or who dont know how to say 'no'. combine that with the character covered junk food at the grocery store and i TOTALLY get it. its infuriating. using children to sell, and then selling them things that will harm their bodies. where have our morals and convictions gone? i mean, i'm not one to hold fast to tons of morals but come on... this is ridiculous. and if we are going to exploit our children by placing such things right at their level, why not fill those boxes with whole grains? why not put characters on veggie stands? why not encourage them to eat things that will help them grow and thrive????

i was very proud of arabella (who, by the way, walks on her own EVERY time we go to the store now) because with all that temptation, she was GREAT. all i had to say was "no hunny, put it back" and it was back on the shelf and we were picking out veggies and beans. she has never been under such rude temptation at trader joes. the craziest thing she walks by and has to refrain from grabbing there is fruit and vitamins. shame on disney. shame on nickelodean and shame on the food industry.

dead as a doornail

so i told you i was reading the sookie stackhouse novels about 2 weeks ago. everyone wanted to know if i liked them. i'm halfway through book five, in two weeks. so, yes. there's drama, murder, sex, fantasy..... things i didn't know i liked in books until i met twilight. they're definitely more dirty and scandalous than twilight... which is good and bad. i like scandalous and i like dirty, but not dirty south so much. they're a bit cheesy and its hard to come to terms with the southern aspect of it, especially the bad dressing, but when i get past that i really like them. they're very entertaining.

it was really funny because lately everytime seth comes home and i'm reading, when he walks in the door i jump... and he's been feeling like there's something wrong or somethings on my mind... we talked about it today and he realized that its all because i'm so into these intense books. i jump every time he walks in because there's pretty much someone being murdered on every page.. haha.

i've got 4 and a half books left and i want to finish them ASAP because i'd really like to be reading along with oprahs bookclub... and she's anouncing the new pick this friday.... so i'm gonna try and at least finish this book tonight. i hope!

the bitch is back

MTV Shows

and i can't fucking wait.

LOVE her.

paolo nutini

i dont know if i have made this apparent but i'm not really a fan of live music.
except for on very few random occasions.
like when i'm buzzed and so is everyone else in the room and its paolo nutini playing.
i used my powers of persuasion to get myself a wristband so i could get right up front.
of course this meant ditching everyone i came with, but there is a price to pay sometimes.
and then i was super butch in the last picture.

over the moon

so my grandmother told me last week that she'd help me with nola so i can go to school. i'll be paying her (because i HATE taking things for free. HATE.) but it will be less than a normal daycare or nanny because she wants to help me out! win win.

so i went to the community college here today and talked to them about what i needed to do to get started.

i'm beyond excited.

its perfect timing because i have enough time to start working and get used to that before i'm in school also, time to save up some money to use for daycare ahead of time and time to figure out what classes i want etc.

i can't really explain the feelings of freedom, excitement, and oppurtunity that i feel. its so incredible to feel like i am finally working towards something i want. something that has nothing to do with my husband or children. not that i dont like them, because i do very much, its just that life has revolved around them or been ruled by them for the past 4 years. we need balance.

i'm so excited to be my own person, have my own life that doesn't involve any of them and then be able to come home and appreciate them just that much more because of that freedom.

i could seriously jump up and down screaming i'm so excited... now i just have to hold onto that excitement for the next 4 months. i will.

look out night job... here i come.