we always sing this song that goes 'oh poopie, oh poopie' and evidently its an old song called 'oh donna' by richie valens, seth just told me. i thought it was just a song we made up.... anyway today arabella said 'mama sing oh poopie'!! all of a sudden she just has been saying stuff that i dont know she can say out of now where... words.. lil sentences like that.. its super awesome and kind of creepy cause i just wont know she can talk that much and then she blurts it out....
last night my wisdom teeth were INSANE. i went to sleep at 430, then woke up at 6 (ya know, because of the cute lil talker) cause seth had to leave at 6.... i was just up all night trying to figure out how to not be on pain or looking up stuff on impacted wisdom teeth, since we have no insurance it doesnt matter either way whether it is, but everything i read made me think it might be. i took tylenol, used oragel, and was just biting down on ice inside a towel and the pain was close to unbearable... then i felt a pop in my ear and shooting pain down my jaw, i sat up and yelled out. that's when i started looking online. anyway all this to say when i got up in the morning i was out of it... then, finally, at 10 i remembered that a friend had offered to watch ara some friday if i needed it... and i'm the type that normally would never have taken her up on it, because i HATE feeling like i'm imposing or taking advantage of someone.... anyway i felt like this time i had no choice... so ara went to beths house. she played in the pool and admired her crush.... i slept. til 2. it was sooo needed... except for the part where i had a horrible dream about arabella dying and saw her dead body, even touched her little hand. what the hell? i woke up in a panic, sweaty and confused. got my phone and went to see seth... i hate having those dreams... then i watched a movie on abc tonight and right after 20/20 came on, which i know i shouldn't watch, but it just came on fast and i didn't change it, and the first thing that came on was a funeral for a baby, and they showed the baby which i'm sure was fake but still.... seth was like 'what are you doing!?!?!?!??!?!'
im afraid to go to sleep. my dreams are so real. i dont want to dream things like that.
but i do want to go to sleep, because i am so very tired. and tomorrow is my turn to wake up with the pooper.
ok, i know this is a weird weird post, but i'm still out of it, and still in pain... any who that was my day... hopefully tonight and tomorrow will be better.
at least arabella is the cutest. we always have that.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
garlic. potty.
so two things. one is that i figured out a totally awesome way to take FRESH garlic that's super easy and doesn't burn your throat.. flo had told me how she crushed it up and put it in capsules, but i didn't have any, so i was like, well i'll just crush it up and toss into my throat and drink water like i'm taking a pill... i thought it would probably burn and i wouldn't be able to do the second round... but it didn't burn at all, and it went down so smooth and so fast... ive done 4 rounds.
and two is we're heading towards potty time. ara has told me she has to go potty and gone poo once and pee 3 times in the past 2 days! yay! i think we're gonna try the whole no diaper, chonie thing and see what happens.. a lot of people say they do that and then they stop peeing their pants... we'll see.
and two is we're heading towards potty time. ara has told me she has to go potty and gone poo once and pee 3 times in the past 2 days! yay! i think we're gonna try the whole no diaper, chonie thing and see what happens.. a lot of people say they do that and then they stop peeing their pants... we'll see.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
my little midwife
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there is probably nothing she loves more than hearing her baby sister.
speaking of baby sister today she pointed at my tummy and said 'sissa in it' and when she says her name she says 'no ah' so.... noah. cool.
freedom comes with a price
so this morning was supposed to be my first sort of 'day off'... just four hours where seth watches arabella and i go do whatever i want. i have never had this experience since she was born and obviously it is a vital part of being a human to have time to yourself but it was also highly suggested by my midwife who had become very concerned about how much time i was spending on my own. which is none. i didn't realize just how much i needed it...
the problem with today was that i woke up feeling super shitty, i've had a stuffy nose the past week, and usually seth wakes up with ara at 6 and i sleep til 7 or 730 for the most part while i'm pregnant... (seems an even trade since this pregnancy time is my last time to sleep again, um kind of, until nov when i start getting up every two hours for who knows how long.... side note: remembering that makes me want to give up on everything i believe in and give this kid formula so i can share feeding duties and not have to deal with hormones anymore.. but, i can't.) anyway this morning, he chose not to... my wisdom teeth have been coming in this past few days also and i dont know if you all know what that's like, but its pretty much a constant headache for how ever many days they decide to work themselves out... so i was a little annoyed when the moment we heard arabella yelling from her room at 6am this morning turned out to be the moment seth asked me to wake up with her this morning... (bless his heart because he seriously wakes up with her every morning) and had this been a normal day (like not one i had been looking forward to for a week, expecting to be on my own) and also had i not felt super crappy with the congestion and headache i would have just gotten up happily. i got up. but NOT happily.... anyway all this to say it started off the day in a bummer mood, i tried to make it better, had tea, actually took a shower in the morning with the door closed!!! (um WILD)... but that didn't really change the headache and congestion, plus i was just real tired since sleeping has started to get REAL hard (freaking being pregnant). i finally got out of the house, went to slo, dropped something off with my mom, drove downtown, about to go to barnes and noble and just sit and read
but all of this just made me realize that if its this dramatic for me to just have 4 hours out alone in 20 months, i need to get a grip and figure out time on my own more often, cause i think i'm losin it.
its just been hard to get time because there's not really anyone to watch her during the day, and any other time we have her watched seth and i NEED the time together, cause every night he's just really busy and we dont see each other... same with the weekends, if he's not busy we both miss each other so much i dont want to leave and hang out by myself... i want to be with my family. they should have a class that teaches moms how to perfectly divide their time between their children, husbands and selves....
thank God, seth has offered to work different hours on wednesdays every week til the baby's born so i can have time to myself in the morning. what a sweet heart. lets just pray that next week i dont have a nervous break down and i can enjoy it.....
the problem with today was that i woke up feeling super shitty, i've had a stuffy nose the past week, and usually seth wakes up with ara at 6 and i sleep til 7 or 730 for the most part while i'm pregnant... (seems an even trade since this pregnancy time is my last time to sleep again, um kind of, until nov when i start getting up every two hours for who knows how long.... side note: remembering that makes me want to give up on everything i believe in and give this kid formula so i can share feeding duties and not have to deal with hormones anymore.. but, i can't.) anyway this morning, he chose not to... my wisdom teeth have been coming in this past few days also and i dont know if you all know what that's like, but its pretty much a constant headache for how ever many days they decide to work themselves out... so i was a little annoyed when the moment we heard arabella yelling from her room at 6am this morning turned out to be the moment seth asked me to wake up with her this morning... (bless his heart because he seriously wakes up with her every morning) and had this been a normal day (like not one i had been looking forward to for a week, expecting to be on my own) and also had i not felt super crappy with the congestion and headache i would have just gotten up happily. i got up. but NOT happily.... anyway all this to say it started off the day in a bummer mood, i tried to make it better, had tea, actually took a shower in the morning with the door closed!!! (um WILD)... but that didn't really change the headache and congestion, plus i was just real tired since sleeping has started to get REAL hard (freaking being pregnant). i finally got out of the house, went to slo, dropped something off with my mom, drove downtown, about to go to barnes and noble and just sit and read
but all of this just made me realize that if its this dramatic for me to just have 4 hours out alone in 20 months, i need to get a grip and figure out time on my own more often, cause i think i'm losin it.
its just been hard to get time because there's not really anyone to watch her during the day, and any other time we have her watched seth and i NEED the time together, cause every night he's just really busy and we dont see each other... same with the weekends, if he's not busy we both miss each other so much i dont want to leave and hang out by myself... i want to be with my family. they should have a class that teaches moms how to perfectly divide their time between their children, husbands and selves....
thank God, seth has offered to work different hours on wednesdays every week til the baby's born so i can have time to myself in the morning. what a sweet heart. lets just pray that next week i dont have a nervous break down and i can enjoy it.....
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
highlights of my life.
arabella has been SUPER cute today.
doing her 'old man' walk and just laughing.
spilling cheerios on the floor and then trying to 'wipe' them up with a napkin.
bless her lil heart.
grabbing my hand and trying to lead me somewhere as i say 'tell me with your words where you want me to go' and with all her might she explains 'this way!'
(i had kinda figured that)
talking to nola and then looking up at me and saying 'sisser?'
following me to the kitchen throwing her hands up at me and saying 'mitch'
(which in our house means 'miss you')
wanting to hold hands with bree (who's 5 months old) and go for a 'walk'
sitting on the coffee table just whispering to herself 'ara, poopie, ara, poopie'
its like everyday she is becoming more of a little girl and along with it she just gets better and better....
here are some pictures of the last few days...
baller status earrings and helping me mop
playing dress up with annabelle
lovin on bree
and her super cool 4th of july stickers from trader joes esp cool in combination with tie dye socks.
doing her 'old man' walk and just laughing.
spilling cheerios on the floor and then trying to 'wipe' them up with a napkin.
bless her lil heart.
grabbing my hand and trying to lead me somewhere as i say 'tell me with your words where you want me to go' and with all her might she explains 'this way!'
(i had kinda figured that)
talking to nola and then looking up at me and saying 'sisser?'
following me to the kitchen throwing her hands up at me and saying 'mitch'
(which in our house means 'miss you')
wanting to hold hands with bree (who's 5 months old) and go for a 'walk'
sitting on the coffee table just whispering to herself 'ara, poopie, ara, poopie'
its like everyday she is becoming more of a little girl and along with it she just gets better and better....
here are some pictures of the last few days...
baller status earrings and helping me mop
playing dress up with annabelle
lovin on bree
and her super cool 4th of july stickers from trader joes esp cool in combination with tie dye socks.
for erin h.
so.. today i went on a walk with my friend/neighbor and she asked what i was like before i had ara... i kinda told her, but it was hard to remember..... i dont really hang out with any of the same people... so i asked seth and we colaborated on this list....
sorry to be so pixelated
pre-ara skylana
ate crappy food (like hot dogs from 7 eleven, um meat, lucky charms, white everything, margarine, fake maple syrup on ego's)
HATED black beans, avocado, Belgian waffles, maple syrup, peanut butter & bananas
never ran a day in her life and weighed barely over 100pounds.
didn't even know who colin powell was, and told seth when he was going to register her to vote that he could choose whatever party he wanted FOR HER.
thought bush had precious eyes.
had no idea what a homeopathic remedy was... or a parabyn.. or sodium laureth sulfate... or any chemical.
did her hair EVERY single day and picked out an outrageous outfit EVERY day, all of this taking about two hours.
didn't think about beliefs or God, just took what she heard.
selfish. whiny. talked to seth in baby voices (FREAKING SICK)
didn't care if the house was clean, or the laundry, or if dinner was made.
had no motivation to do... well anything.
care free, wasn't afraid of anything (well still throw up) but she would skate board down the parking structure, at night... even though she didn't even really know how... she'd get a concussion, but at least she did it.)
wanted to bone like 4 times a day.
also wanted to have 4 kids.
loved to drink gin and tonics.
loved USweekly. seriously. like not just for the pictures... and even more embarrassing, subscribed to it.
talked about gross things ALL the time (like blow jobs, sex and poop)
would try to be someones friend even if it was hard or she didn't like them.
didn't really have a best friend.
was never passionate about anything.
said she would never live without the ocean or with snow.
me
eats great food (like asparagus with garlic, beans and rice, whole wheat, real butter, real maple syrup on home made high protein whole wheat bran
blueberry Belgian waffles)
LOVES black beans, avocado, Belgian waffles, maple syrup, peanut butter & bananas.
runs everyday, or at least water classes when pregnant... not 100 pounds.
cares about what goes on in the world therefore knows who colin powell is/was.
DOES not think bush has precious eyes. (glad seth chose democrat)
only uses homeopathic remedies, unless in very serious illness. doesn't use stuff with parabyns.. or sodium laureth sulfate... or tons of chemicals.
do my hair when i have time. which isn't a lot. and NEVER take TWO hours to get ready or do anything that is especially just for me.
question EVERYTHING that anyone says about God, think about who he is all the time and search for him.
not selfish, or whiny... NEVER talk to seth in baby voices. sometimes ara though.
cleans the house every day and HATES when its messy. and does the laundry every day. and makes dinner, well pretty much every day.
motivated to do anything and everything... needs some free time to work that out.
um, a little bit uptight... certainly not carefree.
doesn't want to bone 4 times a day. sorry. who has time for that? or energy? oh me, WITHOUT A KID.
would probably shoot herself if she had 4 kids.
loves to drink gin and tonics. cant at the moment, but still loves it.
hates us weekly, but does loves the pictures. and will look at it sometimes when i remember at the grocery store.
talks about gross things, but not ALL the time... and though still blow jobs,sex and poop now with the added pleasure of placentas and childbirth.
doesn't try to be friends with someone unless its truly truly worth it.
has two of the best friends anyone could have.
is VERY passionate about natural childbirth, healthy food and natural living.
will live without the ocean and with the snow, for my family.
thank God arabella was born.
sorry to be so pixelated
pre-ara skylana
ate crappy food (like hot dogs from 7 eleven, um meat, lucky charms, white everything, margarine, fake maple syrup on ego's)
HATED black beans, avocado, Belgian waffles, maple syrup, peanut butter & bananas
never ran a day in her life and weighed barely over 100pounds.
didn't even know who colin powell was, and told seth when he was going to register her to vote that he could choose whatever party he wanted FOR HER.
thought bush had precious eyes.
had no idea what a homeopathic remedy was... or a parabyn.. or sodium laureth sulfate... or any chemical.
did her hair EVERY single day and picked out an outrageous outfit EVERY day, all of this taking about two hours.
didn't think about beliefs or God, just took what she heard.
selfish. whiny. talked to seth in baby voices (FREAKING SICK)
didn't care if the house was clean, or the laundry, or if dinner was made.
had no motivation to do... well anything.
care free, wasn't afraid of anything (well still throw up) but she would skate board down the parking structure, at night... even though she didn't even really know how... she'd get a concussion, but at least she did it.)
wanted to bone like 4 times a day.
also wanted to have 4 kids.
loved to drink gin and tonics.
loved USweekly. seriously. like not just for the pictures... and even more embarrassing, subscribed to it.
talked about gross things ALL the time (like blow jobs, sex and poop)
would try to be someones friend even if it was hard or she didn't like them.
didn't really have a best friend.
was never passionate about anything.
said she would never live without the ocean or with snow.
me
eats great food (like asparagus with garlic, beans and rice, whole wheat, real butter, real maple syrup on home made high protein whole wheat bran
blueberry Belgian waffles)
LOVES black beans, avocado, Belgian waffles, maple syrup, peanut butter & bananas.
runs everyday, or at least water classes when pregnant... not 100 pounds.
cares about what goes on in the world therefore knows who colin powell is/was.
DOES not think bush has precious eyes. (glad seth chose democrat)
only uses homeopathic remedies, unless in very serious illness. doesn't use stuff with parabyns.. or sodium laureth sulfate... or tons of chemicals.
do my hair when i have time. which isn't a lot. and NEVER take TWO hours to get ready or do anything that is especially just for me.
question EVERYTHING that anyone says about God, think about who he is all the time and search for him.
not selfish, or whiny... NEVER talk to seth in baby voices. sometimes ara though.
cleans the house every day and HATES when its messy. and does the laundry every day. and makes dinner, well pretty much every day.
motivated to do anything and everything... needs some free time to work that out.
um, a little bit uptight... certainly not carefree.
doesn't want to bone 4 times a day. sorry. who has time for that? or energy? oh me, WITHOUT A KID.
would probably shoot herself if she had 4 kids.
loves to drink gin and tonics. cant at the moment, but still loves it.
hates us weekly, but does loves the pictures. and will look at it sometimes when i remember at the grocery store.
talks about gross things, but not ALL the time... and though still blow jobs,sex and poop now with the added pleasure of placentas and childbirth.
doesn't try to be friends with someone unless its truly truly worth it.
has two of the best friends anyone could have.
is VERY passionate about natural childbirth, healthy food and natural living.
will live without the ocean and with the snow, for my family.
thank God arabella was born.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
depressed.
i've been feeling depressed lately and i dont know how to fix it. there are a few major reasons that i know i feel depressed one being our housing situation, the second being that i'm pregnant/having a baby (which i still just dont know how to really come to terms with, but i have to say that this week it has slightly started to get better, so there's hope) the third being issues within my family, the fourth being that i want to do more, i'm sick of just being home with arabella all day, i want a job, and the fifth being i have literally NO time to myself..well at night, but usually i'm so tired it doesnt matter.... i think that's it. seth is going to start helping me have a couple hours a week where i can do things without arabella, which is amazing and sooo needed.... but the other stuff is just all things i can't change, i've done all i believe i can do in each situation and now i just have to wait, pray and hope for the change that they each need.... but that of course doesn't just make my heart not care about those things... so it is sad. i just hate feeling this way, i can feel my heart aching and it seems so silly because i have so much to make me happy.... but for me happiness isnt just like 'oh i have good things, i'm happy' its something deep inside thats either there or not.... i mean i am happy to an extent always because of seth and arabella... but my heart is just in an aching phase and theres nothing i can really do about it right now. i feel like i just want to sleep it off, but when i wake up, its still there....
i just wanna hang out with flo.
she said she needed a de-stress bath tonight and i was like yea i need a de-depressed bath/massage/sell our house and move/hang out with you/done being pregnant.
*also a funny thing cause, its still me... we went to church today and the place we went there was a guest speaker and NOT EVEN JOKING he was talking the entire time like he was performing a Shakespearian monologue. i loved every second of the weird voices and fake crying straight to shouting.... it was the best. on the way home seth and i were just laughing and talking about how wild it was and at the EXACT same time we were like 'i wish i had a video of that'. so good.
i just wanna hang out with flo.
she said she needed a de-stress bath tonight and i was like yea i need a de-depressed bath/massage/sell our house and move/hang out with you/done being pregnant.
*also a funny thing cause, its still me... we went to church today and the place we went there was a guest speaker and NOT EVEN JOKING he was talking the entire time like he was performing a Shakespearian monologue. i loved every second of the weird voices and fake crying straight to shouting.... it was the best. on the way home seth and i were just laughing and talking about how wild it was and at the EXACT same time we were like 'i wish i had a video of that'. so good.
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