uk knows what's up

for those of you that i have shared the two bedroom dream with....
AMEN.

and then on the other hand, the uk does NOT know whats up...

my friends can laugh at just how terrifying this would be for me.

*jenna leigh if you read this, i tried to email you back on that last one but your email didn't work anymore..

blog overboard

is what happens when i'm buzzed.

anyway my friend over at stuff christian culture likes posted this on her facebook and i'm kind of obsessed with it.

check it out.

long lost love

a long time ago a friend showed me the most wonderful man, i mean eternal child, i would ever encounter. i have tried to find him again for years and although it seems like an easy find, it wasn't. polly has been staying with us and we remembered peter, she knew just how to find him.... and he has found a wife since back then which can only mean one thing... god must be real and sovereign.

rex

so i got an email from one of my readers that said a lot of sweet things and also this...

I was wondering if you could help my husband and I out. We entered our puppy, Rex, into the "Cutest Dog Competition" and really want to win so we can donate our reward to the IRC (International Rescue Committee). The IRC is a great organzation that works on the front lines in the Congo, Sudan, Colombia and other war torn nations. We are trying to get as many votes as we can. It honestly just takes two seconds to vote. Just one click. I know that A LOT of people read your blog, and if you could help us out by posting this link and asking people to vote, and book mark the page, and vote everyday (until Saturday) for a good cause, I would forever be grateful.

i would love if all of you, at least the people who read that are my friends in real life, would participate. i'm going to vote every day and it'd be cool if you all did also. i'd be SUPER excited if not only the people i know in real life voted but all my readers that i dont know did too. i'm posting this because it means a lot when people read my blog and it means a lot when they relate to me, learn from me or are encouraged by me... thats why i write. so if i can do something to help one of my readers, i will. also this dog is really cute, and i dont even like dogs. plus its name is rex, and i once dated a guy named rex so it must be a sign.. haha. alright welp.... hopefully you'll all help her out!
thanks

i made the entire quote a link just so its THAT MUCH easier for you all to vote ;)

i need a wii

asap.

Oxycontin

i was staying at lane and erins house. erin was reading some new book from the twilight series that doesn't exist in real life... she kept telling me there was this character in it that she knew was my soul mate.. that he had long black hair (grooooossssss) and was just like our friend jake (but in my dream it was not jacob black). i was like "uhhhhh what?! then why would he be my soulmate!?"... then we were all sitting in the living room and her and lane were telling me that our friend jake was in love with me. i was like 'no, that's really weird and no, no, no, no... he would never be that way to me, that's super weird.' and they were just CONVINCED he was... they were telling me how whenever they watch videos of me at their house (uh.... this does NOT happen in real life) that they could tell he was super obsessed with me so i needed to be careful with him... i was like 'well, i dont ever talk to him, so i think we're good...' then erin had to leave to take food and cake she had made for this youth group to an event... the whole time she was gone i hung out with all our girlfriends and was explaining why girls dont like me, uh except for all of them. she was gone for a super long time and called me on her way back. right when she was going to get home seth was going to be there to pick me up. she said she had gotten lost and it had taken her 7 hours to get there. in my dream they lived in kentucky. she told me that everyone liked her cake but said it didn't taste like carrot cake, it tasted like Oxycontin. i was like 'why do people at that youth group know what Oxycontin tastes like!?' she brought it home and sure enough, it tasted just like Oxycontin, which somehow i knew in my dream.

embarrassing

of course this would happen in a place like minnesota.

or anywhere in the middle.

chills of embarrassment.

*side note: can people PLEASE stop wearing sunglasses to weddings?

or taking wedding party pictures where all the guys where sunglasses?

IT DOESNT LOOK COOL.

no, you dont look like an ass.

alright.
no offense to anyone i know who has these cars.
it will be apparent in this post that i disapprove of your taste,
but what are you gonna do you know? you probably hate mine too.

so, it was bad enough that these two cars were invented.
i mean bad enough for the sake of our society's judgment in what looks good...
because it could only be downhill from here right?
(i should have known).

(hint to pt cruiser owners: IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE YOU ARE DRIVING AN OLD CAR)

downhill it went.

now we have the nissan cube, and oh. my. god.

it was stressful that this car was invented.

it was more stressful that their commercials called it a 'mobile device'.

but the most stressful part of all?

the fact that i have seen a few of these on the road, which can only mean one thing...

people have bought them!!!!!!

gross.

we might as well start driving around huge crocks with wheels,
cause that's sure as hell where we're headed.

braces are my hero

something you may not know about me is that as a child i had an under bite. that's when your top teeth rest behind your bottom teeth and you look like a freak.

sometimes when i'm really relaxed my teeth just sit that way because it is what's still most natural for me.

it looks a little something like this...



only a thousand times worse.

sick.

on a side note, while searching for stephanie tanner (who evidently has only been out of her house and to a public event twice since she was on full house since there are only pictures of her in two different outfits on the entire internet...) i found this...

its nice to see the awkward middle sister grew herself some nice tits.

musicophilia

very interesting.

no, i dont have ocd.

i have a lot of systems.

especially when it comes to how i eat. there is a proper way to make a sandwich and a proper way to eat one, if you want it to taste good that is. seth doesn't believe me, but a sandwich doesn't taste the same if the ingredients are in the wrong order, or if the ratio is wrong, or if its cut the wrong way.

when i go to baja fresh, which is WAY too much, i ALWAYS get a quesadilla.

there is a system to this quesadilla and there has been for over 10 years. it has evolved as my taste has changed, but the foundation is the same and it has only been added to. it goes like this...

• order a plain cheese quesadilla with an 80z veggie mix on the side.

*this is crucial. baja fresh sells a quesadilla with the veggie mix already in it, but let me assure you, that is not the way you want to eat it. (i have never tried it that way, for the record, but i dont need to in order to know its wrong). also when ordering the veggies on the side its very important that you order the '80z side' because otherwise you get about 10z. bad ratio.

• get two of the tiny to go cups for salsa and fill them with salsa verde.

• get two more and fill with cilantro.

• one more and put 6-7 lime slices in it.

now. here is how the process of eating this particular meal goes.

• fold quesadilla in half horizontally.

*you want to start with an edge piece of course, both edges are to be eaten first, followed by the smallest middle slice and ending with the largest middle slice.

• place perfect ratio of grilled veggies on quesadilla.
• top with outrageous amount of cilantro.
• squeeze 1 lime on top.

*for the last, largest slice you will be using two limes. and there are 1-2 extra lime slices in case you run into the occasional dry bite.

• using your fork, you place a dab of both guac and sour cream on one bite.
• follow this with a couple drops of the salsa.
  
• take bite.

now... every bite you will be repeating the guac, sour cream and salsa, everything else is fine to be added at once in the beginning.

this is how i eat it EVERY time. how i have eaten it every sitting the past 10-12 years.

today, i had to eat it differently.

i, of course, still put everything on in order, but i had to eat it flat. just flat. not bent in half because of my tooth. and let me tell you, eating it the wrong way was more painful than the tooth. it changes the texture, throws off every ratio and therefore completely destroys the taste that comes from my perfected system.

it was really hard for me.

old young man

i'm pretty much in love with this guy.
i love his old man voice, and then how he's not old.
i can't really get enough right now.

please note the actual old man playing finger symbols in the background. precious.

belly buttons

ok, i already have issues with belly buttons.

like its not bad enough that they are where you are connected to your mother through a long bloody tube, that they heal by being 'tied' and crusting off, and that they can be reopened, there are only a million other things that have made me grossed out by belly buttons... take the following...

1. knowing two people who's belly button lint (already sick that that exists) smelled like feet and parmesan cheese.

2. my brother having a hernia behind his.

3. an ex boyfriend who's belly button looked more like a silver dollar sized slight dip in his stomach. (seriously almost a deal breaker)

4. the fact that people have outies. (no offense to anyone i know who has one. i will always love you no matter how grossed out i am by your condition. ;)

and most of all

5. my appendix was taken out through mine. my scar is not visible AT ALL, it was over 8 years ago and i still get scared its going to pop open sometimes.

now, i thought those were reason enough (and BEYOND) to hate belly buttons... then i saw these...
this one i'm willing to look past since, lets face it... besides the button and the horse face, shes a pretty hot super model.

and this one, creepy yes, but she had 30 kids AND a tummy tuck so.. its to be expected.

this on the other hand....its unforgivable and will be giving me nightmares for maybe the rest of my life.

what the fuck?

amelie

this is maybe my favorite movie of all time. (one time i had my hair exactly like hers... how weird is that?... can you picture it?)

definitely my favorite album to listen to is this soundtrack.

if you have not seen this movie, you probably should.

lipo6 baby!

save the Trimspa for good old haggard anna nicole (RIP)... i've got something better. this morning i woke up, ate a VERY large bowl of tortilini with alfredo sauce covered in romano at 9am, got officially disgusted with myself and went to gnc. thanks to a friend, i was pointed towards this lovely little gem. as most of you know i've been waiting to be done nursing to start taking diet pills. well, i'm done nursing. these pills are as far as i know, wonderful. i took one and got pumped. went to the gym for an hour and a half, ran like a maniac, sweat like a man, and i'm sure burned a million calories. people constantly tell me i dont need diet pills, but 'people' aren't with me when i'm naked. i'm pretty sure diet pills are the only way to mellow this food addict enough to get me back to perfectly pre baby. i can exercise like a fool but when it comes to cutting calories, no self control. not long term anyway. i'm super excited and i hope this will help me seriously kick the last ten pounds and get super.. ok... look out... i'm going to use it... TONED. also, as i can tell already, these things are definitely going to give me some extra energy i desperately need. those of you who knew me the last time i took diet pills, dont fret. this time they dont have ephedrine, i wont be taking 8 a day, and i'm not going to stop eating all food while taking them. (so hopefully no purple lips or passing out .. haha) ahh the good old days. anyway i'm on a road towards my fake titties and the journey is getting shorter, i'd like to be in my most prime before its time to add those extra booby pounds :)

p.s. while i was at the gym someone SERIOUSLY farted in my face! and the guy next to me was punching air... it was all very weird.

taking crazy pills...

excuse me but... is anyone watching I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here?

because what the fuck is up with spencer and heidi?

i'm seriously in shock... like all this puking and talking about demons coming out?!!?

i'm just really confused as to what the hell happened here.... oh and one crazy thing, seth recorded spencer talking on his computer while i was watching so he had some talking to replay backwards at the beginning of one of his songs and it was SUPER weird because what spencer was actually saying was that part where he apologizes and talks about how he never has apologized (later he tells in his confession thing that he wasn't actually sorry but that he has duped everyone into thinking he is).. anyway when seth played it back he was saying something about long beach, going to 'her' house, and then he says 'i'm all alone' and this CRAZY sounds happens (which we cant find on the show) and seths song starts... creepy.

anyway i fucking love this... spencer with like the holy spirit on him, puking all over, reading the bible, falling into the water... heidi puking then having jesus dreams... the best.

if you dont watch this, please start. its hilarious.

ooooh religion...


oh and p.s. i'm in love with sanjaya YET AGAIN.

dream big

i had a dream that one of our close guy friends was gay (i wont say who on here because he might be offended... i of course only liked him more gay)... anyway he and his partner were moving down here and i went to their house to hang out.... and his partner and i became best friends... then becky and jacob showed up. jacob came in and said becky was in the car and she had been taking shots of hennessy (something i'm preeeeetty sure she would NEVER do) and that she needed to know what to do about her hangover in the morning so he wanted me to go tell her my tricks... hahah SICK. i went out and she had colored her hair blonde and it was down to her waist. gross. and they were driving a minivan...?

what?

this song is retarded. i love it.

baby buddha

thats my favorite name for him.

The Boy With Divine Powers

dont even ask me what i think about him, because i dont know.

does this turn you on?

or make you feel like you're staring into the face of a person who died instantly?

cause it totally turns me on.