overwhelmed.

grateful.

hopeful.

thankful.

peaceful.

that's what i started to feel this thursday when seth came home and told me....

... so we bought a condo 3 years ago. we had inheritance money from seth's grandfather and we thought it would be good to put it in something, as most do. we bought at the peak, we got a loan in seth's parents name as they graciously offered since we had no credit, we didn't think long about the decision we were making, we didn't exactly make it in unison, and we got into a very bad loan.

the past 3 years have been everything i have dreamed of as far as my husband, my marriage, my daughter... but there has been a burden on our hearts everyday knowing our house was costing more than we could afford and going down rapidly in value. as time has passed we became more and more stuck... and at the same time our family has grown. it has blown us away how somehow seth has worked very hard and made/been blessed with a successful graphic design company without which we would never have even begun to be able to survive... but at the same time knowing that with as much as he makes would shouldn't be struggling to survive every month and the only reason we have been is this 'home' ... the place we're supposed to feel at complete peace in.

recently we had decided to take the 50,000 dollar loss, end up with a 20,000 dollar loan and nothing to show for it, if there was any way we could sell the place at all. before we got it on the market two condos in our complex went up for sale for 20-30,000 dollars less than we were hoping and praying to be able to sell our house for.

so here came the news seth brought home...

his parents decided to take over the house for us.

to rent it out and wait however long for the market.

really in the end this somehow works out to be the only 'win, win' for the four of us... and for seth and i it feels like our life as a family is really going to start now.

i've felt like we've been on the edge of being our own for so long, and after having arabella there was this immediate feeling of there being something more to our family... a growing that couldn't take place here, in this home, in this town we've always known... everything the same.

we have dreamed of moving to a place we love that is new and our own... a place where we become a family all our own and have to work that out without all those who know us so deeply right there. an independence.

this dream has finally come to be reality because of the love seth parents are pouring out on us through this life changing gift.

i can't describe how i feel, i have never felt so thankful, so freed, so hopeful ... and my feelings haven't all surfaced yet either....

i just know that this is big and it is so good.

its love and its God.