Sunday, October 31, 2010

day seven, the end

i wore nothing exciting today, but here are my sweets in their adorable outfits.

day six, late again

this was my morning outfit for saturday, until about 2pm.
hoodie: boyfriends that shrunk and got passed down to me :) i think its from urban outfitters.
shirt dress: i cannot remember but its SUPER comf
leggings & fuggs: target

then i took a shower....

and went on a date.
dress: target
vest: passed down from family
cork purse: andy's mama gave it to me :)
shawl & shoes: thrifted
knee socks: urban outfitters

Friday, October 29, 2010

day five, three pictures, zero kids

shirt: forever21
skirt: thrifted like a bill years ago
scarf: urban outfitters also a bill years ago
shoes: target
belt: gift from boyfriend (anthropologie)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

day four, at four forty four

scarf: ex mother in law suckaas
tank top, boots & jacket thingie: urban outfitters
shorts: were jeans, and i have no idea where i got them

to be honest, i don't really love this outfit. it was just easy and not terrible. i got dressed in about 5 minutes at 7am so i wasn't thinking clearly. i also don't love my hair up... aaaand my boyfriend doesn't like these boots... so this is not my fave but hopefully you all like it? i guess...

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

day three, two outfits

before my shower, going to drop off my 3 year old at preschool.

sweater & dress: anthropologie
moccaboots: rose bowl swap meet
scarf: thrifted

after my shower, ready for a scrabble date with my boyfriend.

tank top & necklace: anthropologie
skirt: gift from my sweet andy (good job huh!?!?) from a little vintage shop in venice called Ms. Vintage
shoes: target, like a billion years ago.

shirt: santa monica antique market
shorts: target

shirt: bess hunter gerig
pants: target

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

day two, right on time

sweater: urban outfitters
romper: passed down from family
leggings & wanna be uggs: target
necklaces: thrifted

day one, one day late

scarf: stole it from my mom...well borrowed and never gave back. i do that a lot so don't lend me clothes.
tank top & shoes: target
belt & skirt: thrifted
sweater: anthropologie
bangles: fiji, thrifted, family & claire's

Sunday, October 24, 2010

that is a lot of weigh

i think emery posted this years ago and i wanted to do it with arabella but i couldn't because she wasn't old enough yet... now she is.. so....

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
i love you

2. What makes mommy happy?

3. What makes mommy sad?
when i dont be a good girl

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
play peek a boo

5. What was your mom like as a child?
a very good girl

6. How old is your mom?
that is a lot of weigh and i can't do that question

7. How tall is your mom?

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
take care of kids

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
like stay with andy.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
being president
(she said "for being a, like you know, state person." and i said "a what?" and she said "like, you know, barack obama.")

11. What is your mom really good at?
taking care of kids

12. What is your mom not very good at?
"this" (while clicking her tongue) so i clicked it and she said "oh, you did it, i was wrong. well... you are not very good at reaching high."

13. What does your mom do for her job?
take care of kids

14. What's your mom's favorite food?

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
when she takes care of kids

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
the mom on sid the science kid (if any of you have watched that you know how horrible that is)

Saturday, October 9, 2010

the simple kind of life

There was a time that life was extremely simple.

There was only one path, one option, one way for my life to go. There was only one place to live and straying for even a short time was unthinkable. My friendships were sweet but had never seen the face of heartache, of trial, of war and if for some reason they had our beliefs were there to back us up, to make life easier, and to explain any negatives.

I know there was a small amount of friction between me and this life before my Arabella was born, but the day she was born was really the day my life stopped being simple, in every way. Once she was born my easy beliefs made life harder, and they made life confusing, they weren't enough to encompass what I had just done, who I had just met. Once she was born I needed more depth, more life in my friendships. Once she was born my world was open to every option, and the need in me to have something more was only heightened by the depth of love she showed my heart. I became severely unsettled. The only thing I was settled by was her.

I believe that when you search for more, life gives you more. When you search for depth, life gives you depth. When you welcome life in, true full life that doesn't close it's eyes to the ugly parts, life comes in and it comes in like a tidal wave.

From the time that I decided I wanted more and let my mind and heart feel the unsettle, the longing, the confusion I was on a new path and my simple life would never be able to keep up. I think it's easier to make mistakes on this path, and I surely did. Life got everything but simple from there on out. Every decision was a mountain to climb and every new option and idea of how life could be was overwhelming at first. Seeing people who had chosen so much differently than me, and yet didn't feel like they had sinned, or fallen short, or messed up, was shocking over and over.

How could people just be ok with never getting married? or never having kids? How were people living without religion without a care in the world about it? How were people seeing their friends through losing babies, losing husbands, losing everything without completely falling apart? And without putting all their pain on the false place of "jesus"?

When I lived inside my simple world, I was happy. It was easy to be happy. But I constantly felt wrong. I felt like an octagon dropped into a space made for a circle. It was easy to fit into it, but it wasn't me.

At the same time that I became unsettled, that simple life pushed me out. Through the past 4 years that I've made this painstaking journey out of one way I've moved out of that one town, lost many of those shallow friendships, left behind my narrow beliefs and allowed my path to change, to what is true, to what really fits me. Life was very hard the past four years, and anything but simple.

Now, life is richer than ever.

I feel like I have been through war, and come out victorious. I found who I am, I found depth, I found everything I was looking for. Life isn't supposed to be simple, people change, and that's ok. People are different. We all live different lives and chose different things, and that's ok. We lose babies, we lose marriages, we lose money, we lose religion, and it's all ok. These things happen to all of us at some point and the best thing about all of it for me, is finally being able to truly go through those things and to truly go through them with my friends. I don't feel the need to try and fix it, I don't feel confused at why god let them or me down, I don't feel a false protection from anything. Instead of giving my friends false, empty answers about god making it all better when real things happen, I have something real to offer, and I believe that's what all of this is even for.

I love humanity and I'm so amazed at how strong we are. I'm amazed at what we have to offer. I'm still shocked at how great humans are without needing a god to make them great. If we let ourselves be a part of life and a part of humanity, accepting the pain, accepting the faults and accepting our differences, life is amazingly full.

Monday, October 4, 2010

the best soup ever made

I have a tiny little cold and since the weather does as well I felt like making soup. I had a real delicious veggie full Minestrone at Rustic Canyon the other night so I thought I'd head that way in my recipe but make it my own :)

Vegetable Stock
Navy Beans
Garbanzo Beans
Diced Tomatoes
Yellow Squash
Dried Thyme
Dried Sage
Bay Leaves
Sea Salt

basically I just put the stock, beans, tomatoes and onion in a huge pot and brought it to a boil. While I was warming all of that up I sauteed the carrots and celery a bit. Once they were almost soft I put them in the pot, then added the zucchini and yellow squash. I put the seasonings in according to what looked and smelled good. I let it all cook for about 30 mins, then served it with Parmesan on top and fresh warm sourdough slices next to it!

It's too good.
It tastes like Christmas.