birth canal

does the size of that head compared to the size of that vagina make anyone else feel VERY uncomfortable?

or is it just me?

the closer i get to being at the end (could be any time from wednesday, but lets not get our hopes up) the more i can NOT even WAIT to be normal again, not pregnant and to know that i will be that way for the REST of my life! i feel like i know i'm winning the lottery within the next month or something.... but at the same time i'm just getting bummed that i really do have to do this again. i HAVE to give birth. there's no way around it... well, no healthy way... i'm hoping this one is easier... although i seriously think that arabellas birth was perfect, i mean i felt like it was more than i could have asked for as far as my first experience and it changed my whole life... but it was hard, really really long, really intense, and i tore really really bad.... this time i'm just hoping for an experience like so many women tell me they get to have, fast, tears that aren't crazy, being able to stand up straight afterwards... i want to know what that would be like... and to have that feeling of it being so fast you're in such a fluster, like it takes over you and before you know it, you're done. i had that, but not until the last several hours of my birth (5? maybe longer, i dont know...) i could do without the extra 36 hours of intense pain that wore me out, yet wasn't bad enough to make me feel like i was wasted.. another awesome thing would be NOT pushing for 3 hours.... anyway, we'll see, i dont want to get my hopes up about it being any easier than with ara, although my midwife constantly tells me it will be... i just dont want to hope for that and then be let down. i'm rambling.


but at least this is it. after this i never have to give birth, i never have to be pregnant... ever. i can't even express the feeling that floods my heart when i think about that. its literally the best feeling i think i've EVER had. seth feels the same way. and its only a matter of weeks away! woo hoo! another cool part about this time is that i have only gained half the weight that i gained with ara, which is also the SAME amount i lost giving birth to ara.. wild. i know. i know i wont lose the same amount giving birth this time, but i also know it wont be so hard to get rid of this weight, as i will certainly have less to lose. (with ara i gained 50lbs- that's what happens when you drink a gallon of whole milk every two days, literally a gallon, oh and dont exercise or do ANYthing.- i lost 23 giving birth, and it took me until she was 1 to lose the rest! this time i have gained 25lbs total. awes sauce.)

like arabella always says 'come out nola!!' (but please do it as chill as possible, haa)