Monday, November 10, 2008
in so much love.
i am in so much love. in love with seth, in love with arabella, in love with nola. my family is perfect. you all have heard about how much i love seth but the most amazing thing about having kids is how much more you fall in love with your spouse and how much closer you feel to them. when arabella was born this happened and its happened again only in a totally different way... with arabella there was so much of a bond formed over us both being scared and young and coming into being parents together and pushing through all the tough stuff that came at us from having a baby. it was like we were both innocent kids that moved into being mature adults together and it molded our hearts that much closer... even with the birth i needed seth there because he supported me, he was afraid for me but he encouraged me like he knew i could do it, even though in reality he had no idea. having him believe in me without knowing for sure that it was possible created a trust we didn't have before....
and now with nola there is a bond that i didn't even know could be reached in my heart and there is so much more love than i've ever thought i would be capable of. this time we weren't scared and young, we knew what was happening and to see the grace with which we have handled each other over the past 9 months shows me just how much we've grown together... and to have him there to hold me up at the birth this time was so much different. it was an entirely different bond... i leaned on him because even when i was afraid, he wasn't because this time he knew, he had seen me do it and he wasn't afraid.. he was a rock for me. and now that she's here, knowing she was the piece to complete our family there is a feeling i can't completely even describe... that seth and i are the head of this family together, made to perfectly compliment each other, not just for us but for these two beautiful souls we brought to earth... so that we can teach them love. its amazing to look at her and to see her as his daughter is so much different than it is with arabella, but just as amazing and life changing. i'm so beyond thankful for my babies and the most amazing best friend i could have asked for... we have love i didnt even know existed and it is what my whole life is for.