if you know me now, you know that i am not jealous or insecure. seth could probably kiss another girl and i woulndt feel jealous. i just dont have that in me anymore... but i wasnt always so sure of myself and of our relationship (ive always been sure of seths love). though im sure its hard to believe there was a time that i was insecure.
when seth and i started dating he was recording the eager seas album... he had written two songs for pam, the lovely lady he dated before me. i liked pam, and i was glad they had dated... but i wasnt excited about an album with two songs about another girl coming out while seth and i were engaged... i thought it would promote endless questions.
he changed the lyrics to both of these songs.
the songs are
all that i cant keep and broken man
i cant remember what broken man was called but it was the cutest song and all that i cant keep was called pammy jean and was probably the second cutest song. i now regret worrying about the lyrics at all. those songs, in my heart, were meant to be the way they were and thats how i love them. seths gonna try and find the recordings in their original beauty. i hope he does because i can barely remember the lyrics now.
i hate that i didn't understand at the time that it was ok. those songs documented a part of his life, a part of his life that i love and am so thankful for. plus they were about pam and i just really like her. being jealous and insecure is stupid, and pointless.
people really love broken man and all that i can't keep and its cool that those songs got to be songs at all... but at the same time for me... they're not real. they're like masks.
so there's some watashi wa trivia.
and some young skylana ridiculousness.