Friday, February 13, 2009

sans diapers.

to all of you who told me you thought ara would potty train early, i think you jinxed me.

i dont know what to do with her. she DOES NOT want to try going on the toilet at all. she tells me when shes going to poop and pee but she never wants to do it on the toilet.

like for instance one time she said 'i hafta go poo poo'
i said 'do you want to go on the toilet?'
she said 'no. i'll go in my room.'
i was like 'um, are you sure... itd be really great if you went on the toilet'
'no, i'll go in my room'
'i mean, i can leave you alone in the bathroom and i'll close the door... you sure you dont wan to go on the toilet?'
'no, in my room'

she got down ran into her room, i walked by and saw her just standing in the middle of the room concentrating really hard on takin the crap in her diaper.

so moms... how did you do it? did any of you have a kid who knew they needed to go but didn't want to do it on the toilet?


Marianne Elixir said...

Some parents are opposed to any form of bribery....but we're not, 'cause it has worked so well!

We made a special calendar for the bathroom just for Soren. Then we took him sticker shopping and he got to pick out several little sheets that he was really excited about. I also got some stars.

Every time he would pee on the toilet he would get a star on the day. Every morning that he woke up with a dry diaper he would get to put on of his special stickers on that day.

Then we did created greater incentives. For example, a week with a sticker on each day meant homemade ice cream. A full week of dry diapers meant something more significant (new sheets, big boy underwear). And his first poop on the potty (which took MUCH longer than staying dry all the time, but I've heard this is not as difficult for girls) won him a trip to the store to pick out a brand new toy of his choice (within certain parameters, obviously).

It worked great for us, and we're about to do it again with Elliot (I want him out of diapers before the next babe comes).

I think what worked best was that we were nonchalant about it so that he didn't feel pressured, but there were also really cool things he could earn for doing it, and we made a big deal about talking about his accomplishments, and how many stickers he had on his calendar, etc.

Good luck!

sufferingsummer said...

I had that exact scenario happen when my older daughter was almost 2. She was a very early talker like it sounds like you have and so could tell me and others very clearly that she either needed to go or was currently going. Still she had very little interest in the potty. She showed so much interest around 18 months that I thought she'd be trained by 2 but then by 2 she was so over it and wanted nothing to do with it.
It wasn't until we started preschool two days a week and there were a few kids in her class who used the potty that I saw her even thinking about it again. I think she saw that if she had a dirty diaper she had to leave and have it changed but if she had to go potty she could choose when she left class.
Anyway LONG story short 3 weeks into preschool she woke up one morning and just said, "mama I'm all done with diapers" and that was it. She is still in a diaper at night but otherwise is fully potty trained...she will be 3 on sunday and this was about 6 months ago.
For my part I just stopped pushing it and didn't talk about it at all really except here and there mentioning it. I do think when she's ready she'll just start doing it on her own...
I know it can be frustrating to have a kid as smart as Ara clearly is and not get why there are certain blocks to doing things she is obviously capable of...

Erin said...

Umm I have one of those kids right now! I put Claire in panties and she tells me before she pees in them. She say's "Mommy I have to pee." And then she pees right then. So she totally knows but she REFUSES to go in the toilet. She had a few good days where she pooped and peed in the toilet but she's over it now. From what I've heard, we just have to wait until they are ready. We can't force anything.

Shelley said...

try putting her potty in her room where she usually goes, its probably a comfort thing to her.

Amanda said...

^^^^I heard that too Shelley. I tried several things and the only thing that worked for my son was putting him in underwear and when he went pee or poop I would show how disgusted I was and he understood that. He stopped going in his underwear and felt like a big boy going on the toilet.

Marianne Elixir said...

Yeah, we had a potty chair in the living room....and a week of accidents in the underwear - but that was the most permanent teacher of all. I didn't have to pretend to be grossed out - he was mortified.

skylana said...

yea... weve tried the chonie thing... she doesn't mind the accidents. AT ALL. i'm not really willing to put her potty in our living space or in her room, i feel like she should learn that you go to the bathroom, in the bathroom. i'll try the sticker thing.... maybe she just needs more time.

skylana said...

oh and we've tried bribing also. with chocolate chips even... she doesn't care.

jenny moon said...

getting zoe to use the toilet was not about her ability to understand it or control it, it was about her realizing she had the power in this scenario. as parent, i could make her do most anything - but i could NOT control her body. when i stopped trying to, she decided on her own to use the toilet. i didn't offer rewards because it seemed weird to me (no offense to anyone!) to give bribes for something that she MUST do to live, like rewarding her for breathing or sleeping. i also kept the potty in the bathroom, since we don't poop in our bedrooms or common areas. so maybe try showing her that her body is her business and we all have to be responsible to ourselves for what it does, and see if she responds to that kind of freedom...or maybe she'll end up pooping in diapers til she's 10 if you try that, who knows haha

Emery Jo said...

the sticker chart thing worked like magic for ezra. that was all he needed. He loved being able to see his progress- and after 8 stickers or so, he got a bigger prize (for us it was hotwheels cars) and it made the potty fun for him.

Shan said...

yeah...i was gonna say, i never did the potty chair anywhere else other than the bathroom too. also, it just felt like we'd be starting the entire process over once we moved it to the bathroom.
my first daughter was quite a bit more difficult to potty train (part of the reason was the fact that i was pregnant with #2 when i wanted to start the process and i had friends tell me just to wait until the baby's here 'cuz she'd just regress...anyways, i shoulda ignored them). all i know is that when it was time to potty train leia (#2), i started when she was like 2 years and 1 month old and it was so much easier, she just seemed ready & she also wanted to be like "big sis". :)
what worked for us was getting her a cute little potty in our bathroom with just a piece of paper taped to the side of the paper said "pee-pee" and one side said "poo-poo", then she's get to pick from a whole bunch of different sticker styles (that was the fun part), then she'd get 1 sticker for pee and 2 for poop. also, at first you might have to set the timer every 20 minutes or so and take her throughout the day. it's exhausting, but after a few days of that, she pretty much got the hang of it (maybe get a potty book to read to her while she sits on the potty).
oh yeah...and we didn't "do" pull up's...they're pretty much diapers.
good luck.

Flo Oakes said...

You have a lot of good suggestions on here, but why don't you just get these?

Andrea June said...

Haha, Flo, that is HILARIOUS!!!

Bethany said...

I don't have any kids but i have a friend with three girls and a sister with three boys. the one with the girls just waited until they were ready to start on their own. Her daughter was...i think two and a half and she was very verbal when she had to use the bathroom but sometimes was too scared or just didn't make it time..but what worked for her was that my friend just waited until they were tired of diapers...and she was eased into it. which sounds little inconsistent but worked for her oldest..
and my sister would always just stick them on the toilet since they were little before baths for a little bit and they would usually go (she would have them sit there for awhile) so they were comfortable with the concept and also was able to be eased into it. that worked for them... ???

Sarah Griffin said...

Hi Skylana,
You don't know me, but I sometimes read your blog. I went to high school with Seth, and Flo, Erin, Beth, and Steph... so I found your blog through some of them and occasionally stop by to read.
My little guy is 6 months old, so yeah too young to potty train- but my sis in law recently had much success with the book "Toilet Learning" by Alison Mack. The first part is for the parent, and contains info about the child and his or her psycological state of mind and what it means to them to start using the potty. And then the second part is a story book for your child that you can read to them- and pretty much once they can comprehend the story and understand it- it is a sign they are ready to start potty training. It took about a week, but my niece is doing SO well (barely 2 yrs old).. and is out of diapers during the day time, including for outings and such. At night they still have her in a diaper... but other than that so far so good. Hope that helps. You and seth have such an adorable little family, Congrats!