Wednesday, April 1, 2009

dont be afraid

when your baby screams for an hour straight.

when your fully potty trained two year old pees 10 times in a row on the FLOOR.

when your baby that practically sleeps through the night starts to nurse from midnight to 5am EVERY night.

when your two year old doesn't listen to a single word you say and says its because she's 'greeeeeaaaat'.

when she throws her beans all over the floor and smiles cleverly.

when you haven't taken a shower in... you can't remember how long.

when neither of your kids will take their naps and some even put up a fight for two hours straight.

... and after this you feel like you want to shake one and smack the other.

just walk away...

and talk to your fellow mothers, because i dont think i know one mother who hasn't felt this way at one time or another.

nothing can ground you like knowing you are not alone and you are not crazy... well you are crazy but its just because you're a mom.

its amazing to feel one second like you are the worst parent that has ever lived and you are damaging your children forever and the next to feel the freedom of fellowship in friends who have been in your shoes, who see the mother you really are.

i'm unbelievably thankful for my mother friends, because we hold each other up when the other is week. we all know where to go when we need to tell someone its all too much. we can rely on that voice to tell us its ok and that gives us what we need to get up and do it again tomorrow, with more love and more patience than the day before.

dont be afraid to say the worst thoughts you have out loud, because i can almost guarantee i've thought it, or your mom friend has and when we say things out loud we are freed from them.. its when we can't recognize our struggle or can't express our desperation that it can take over our lives and minds.


Marianne Elixir said...

Amen and amen. I think being able to say it out load (or type and share it with the internet), is what actually keeps you from doing it.

May this coup attempt (by your children) pass quickly. I've never had one last more than 3 weeks.

A fellow crazy person

Beth McDermott said...


Sarah Corbett said...

there is NOTHING more important than this! i would be far far away from my family if it weren't for friends like you; friends who understand, sympathize, and encourage. i know that our paths have crossed at the perfect time in our lives, and i don't take that for granted. i'm sad for moms who don't have an outlet like this, and i hope that blogs like yours give "crazy" moms the okay to let down that barrier that society/religion tells us we shouldn't. moms have so much pressure to be "perfect"...calm, collective, patient, nurturing, peaceful, quiet, loving, active, creative, and on and on. BUT as hard as we try, we fail. If we fail, we feel like we are the worst mothers. But the truth is, that if moms were honest with eachother, they would realize that these failures are normal. Honestly like this could prevent moms from going to the extremes of really hurting thier children, leaving thier families or worse. Thanks for posting this :)

A thankful heart said...

i agree. it's so important to have people(especially mamas) in our lives who encourage us and remind us that, "yes..this too shall pass!" and while i absolutely looove my girlfriends, fellow moms, warriors of child rearing, is an even greater blessing to have a husband to uplift me and encourage me and in my darker moments (that only he has fully experienced with me) really know that i am a loving mama and adoring wife..even when my thoughts or actions are not the least bit lovely.. i know seth loves you sooo much as does ara and even love your family and you do your best to care for them....remember..the dishes and laundry will be there in the morning... and ara or nola are safe in their room even if they crying for an hour...they are safe... take good care of yourself and don't be afraid to lighten your load...or share it!!