Wednesday, July 8, 2009

alright here's the deal

i've read emails about me lately.



to the ones talking like you know me, when clearly you dont... get a grip. its obvious from the emails sent to her by people thinking they know me, that you are looking at me through jesus colored glasses. if you could see me on your own then we would probably still be friends whoever you are (i'm sure your defense would be that you could never separate your view of me from jesus, then stop looking). its wild to me that people still think that i dont have friends who disagree with me, this proves that the people who think this either have never known me or have no real contact with me. i have shut a lot of people out of my life recently, and the reason is not from disagreeing, the reason is drama and jesus pushing.

i will not be a christian. i wont. i'm done.

so if youre going to hang out around here, you need to move past that.

it is exhausting to me that there are still some christians who, for whatever reason, are latched onto me like i'm theirs. you are so latched you can't even be happy that i am TRULY happy. i dont need jesus to be happy. maybe you feel so sad that you need him and i dont, i dont know but just let me go. i'm not yours, you dont know my heart and its seriously creepy. when i read the things you people had to say it didn't make me feel like i was missing out, like i was being loved, or like i was angry... it made me feel like you are delusional.

those of you who think i used to have a 'sparkle' when i was following jesus need to realize something... it was FAKE. it wasn't real, it wasn't me. what you were seeing was not me, it was a fabricated me that was doing what others told me to do so that i could receive love. i actively followed something for other people, conciously. so move on.

i have grown up. i realize that only mature people can make the distinction, so it may be hard for those of you to understand who can't look beyond yourself and accept other people no matter what they believe, and truly accept that other people can find love, peace and happiness in things you dont find them in.

i need to put this part of my life behind me. i need to move on from christianity. the book on me being a christian is closed, not to be opened again. i only find hope, peace, comfort and happiness in this statement, so if you think you love me be happy for me. if you hate me... like i have said MANY a time... go away, i dont need nor want you near me. if you think you can't love me and be happy that i have found something outside of jesus then i would actively reject your love, to me, its not love.

i hope im really making this clear.

12 comments:

Seth Alan Roberts said...

I'm really annoyed and sad reading all these emails about my wife. There is a weird possessive tone, like skylana is more of a mission than a person. There is such an uppity, arrogant tone as well, that because we believe something is right we are somehow above others that don't. I'm a Christian, i believe in the core values and teachings of Jesus Christ. But for one i think its absurd to think people cant have joy or happiness because we don't believe the same things. I would even go as to far to say its absurd that people cant have a real relationship with God outside of Jesus, but that is beside the point and another conversation all together. My wife does not cut people out of her life that disagree with her. I disagree with her, most of her best friends do.Most of her closest friends are Christians, and so its strange that people feel this way about her. contrary i feel like most of the people that she has a falling out with, its because they are Christian and don't feel like its ok to be friends with people who aren't Christian, or to be "unequally yoked". Unless of course they are friends with her for ministry reasons. Christian culture is the only place ive seen this mentality that we all must agree in order to be on the same level, or to be friends. It seems like everywhere else it is totally normal for people to have friends and not agree on so many different things. Thats what i see in skylana more than most people i know. Its sad that there is such a bad taste associated with Christians now. I really am sick of people looking down on her, or saying shes lost a sparkle or a star in heaven or whatever because shes had a hard time in life and adjusting to life in the last year. We all have things in life that are hard, i'm sure i've lost more sparkle than her, because im not 15 anymore and i barely sleep because i have kids and i have much more responsibility and life isn't all that great sometimes. lets all be honest. Even if you have Jesus, or some belief that breathes life into you, its still not great all the time. We are all on the same journey, we are all the same, just trying to understand and know what is true and right and good. So thats my 2 cents. oh and skylana...I'll be praying for you...;)

Cassie Diego said...

Hi. skylana ive been reading your blog (its a blog of a blog) and this one hit home. Im in the same boat as you. Im no longer a christian. People here this and they freak out. Or assume i was not a good a christian before. Ive lost many many friends due to this. Especially since i decided not to raise my two young daughters as Jesus pushers. They will be spiritual woman but not christians.Thank you for standing up for your beliefs

Linda said...

you are teaching me what love is

meg said...

this is so crazy...almost crazy enough to think it wasn't true, but come on, people can be real crazy.

I guess really, I just want to say we love you. Full stop.

skylana said...

please note: seth was COMPLETELY joking when he said 'I'll be praying for you...;)'

he was making fun of how people say that to me.

meg said...

come on. we know he went straight to his prayer closet right after he posted that...

Elissa Rachael Parrish said...

i got a nice chuckle out of it.

anna joy said...

this is terrible :( i've noticed ever since i've been reading your blog that people like um ATTACK you!?!@!ksD:SDF??? i'm seriously glad that Christ isn't like most 'Christ'ians. hey and i love your honesty. honestly.

mine... and now yours. said...

pretty much want to copy and paste this into my blog as well. especially this:
"i have grown up. i realize that only mature people can make the distinction, so it may be hard for those of you to understand who can't look beyond yourself and accept other people no matter what they believe, and truly accept that other people can find love, peace and happiness in things you dont find them in."

and seth saying that just because you've had a hard year of adjustment doesn't mean its because you're not a christian anymore.

love it.

stina said...

yeah i don't know anybody on here in real life, i was just an old watashi wa fan and then a big lakes fan and then i saw wedding pictures and read the blog and got hooked on all the conversations.
the way people attack what you say on here and when they did on your myspace has been blowing my mind since i first saw it start happening. SO CRAZY!!!
i like how your husband said the things he did, about his beliefs, about you, about people...
if's frustrating so see such judgment and...just crazy running of the mouth because people like to get heated and type alot...but the judgment and the whatever-it ...is crazy.
how do people not get it? people are people no matter what they believe or how they live...you can either leave them alone or get involved but if you get involved, why make it so miserable by being judgmental and verbally ugly...
i feel like i never really know how to say what i mean. i guess i could just not comment. but just wanted to say it's frustrating when "christians" just feed into the negative stereotype...it doesn't have to be that way and it's unfortunate...(but if they didn't, then there wouldn't be a stereotype and it's the same thing for any other kind of negative stereotype...)
anyways...
skylana, you sure are a fighter, and i've read how you say you welcome discussions, but man, to deal with some of the ridic things that are said...gah!

Sarah said...

not meaning to offend, just to simply question, but if people who genuinely care for you are telling you that they're praying for you, maybe a new perspective on that is not meant to frustrate you or belittle you as if they know better, but it's simply offering you the highest love they can give you. as a Christian, i've given my life to Christ, and when i pray for friends, Christian or not, i'm loving them as much as i can. to do any less, to NOT pray for them, would be for them to not be important enough to me to love them this way.

i don't know. just a thought...i mean i'm sure people feeling like you have felt frustrated when people like me have said that we'll pray for them, but it's not coming from a know-it-all attitude, just love in the best way we know how.

skylana said...

sarah- people who genuinely care for me dont say that to me. people who genuinely care for me who feel that that is love just keep it to themselves, because they dont need to say it out loud. i respect that a lot more, and i respect that they know that's not what i need to hear.

i'm creeped out by people who say that and talk as if they know me, and CLEARLY do not.