Monday, August 24, 2009

a lot of you will hate me



so this picture was on the today show and women were going wild over it, so happy that there is a model who looks like them....

i think its great that this lady is a model and that's shes confident in her own skin.

but this lead to a conversation on the today show about where model sizes are headed... and i for one am not in favor of them getting much larger. i dont want models dropping dead on the runway or anything but i want to look at people who look better in clothes than most people do. if i see a model that is unattractive to me the clothes she's wearing are less attractive to me than if they are on someone who looks really really good in them. i want to have something to aspire to... super skinny models to look up to, to want to be as skinny as.... maybe there should be more plus sized models around and stuff... but hopefully this doesn't mean the end of the strikingly skinny model i so dearly love. if i looked at that lady and it looked like me i wouldn't be happy that someone else's stomach looked as bad as mine, if i did it would only be because someone could share in my misery. if i looked at her and felt like we looked the same, i'd just get bummed about my stomach and then wish i was looking at someone with a nice stomach that i wanted to work towards having.

maybe i'm a bitch, but i like my women, and myself, skinny.

24 comments:

Shelley said...

I agree,

I am overweight, mostly from having three kids and bad genetics. I am not happy I am overweight, and I don't go around claiming the be happy because I am plus size. Naturally I am not plus sized, and thats great for the woman that are and proud. BUT many woman are claiming to be proud of being plus sized when really they are just over weight or obese. Its like we are making an excuse so that we don't have to try anymore, and just give up.

It feels disgusting to have left over baby skin hanging down. GROSS ... I hate it and I will be so happy the day I can afford a tummy tuck. It's not comfortable wearing jeans, I am self-conscience in front of my husband now, and I am just not comfortable in my own skin.

This model is definitely not fat, but she does have the leftover baby skin.

My main point to this is that we have to stop making excuses for being over weight. It's lazy and I don't want to be apart of an excuse.

Emilie said...

Does any part of you think that your guys's disdain for extra baby fat has anything to do with being conditioned in a society that hates it too?

Emilie said...

Does any part of you think that your guys's disdain for extra baby fat has anything to do with being conditioned in a society that hates it too?

skylana said...

Emilie of course there are parts of our perception of beauty that come from whatever society we are a part of but at the same time we create the society we are a part of. It's hard to say which came first sometimes... did they make me love being skinny or did I show them I wanted to look at skinny people because thats what I bought more of? Did they teach me skinny was good or did I already like it because it's always been the way I was? either way i dont really mind because I like what I think is pretty, obviously, and have no problem saying so.... And I'd like to see more of what I think is pretty of course... Just the same as others do. I don't mind there being more plus sized models but I do mind if this makes skinny start to be scarce.

JessicaToday said...

comment 1:
its funny and interesting how you can go from one style of blog post that shows total awareness and concern about the overall good of society (most of your political converstaions) to one that is totally unconcerned with the societal implications your personal opinion brings.
im not here to tell you that its not good to say models should be skinny. say whatever you want. its your opinion. by now, i respect you and your opinion- whatever it is. i know you are not an evil person, just a very honest one.
im just noticing how interesting it is that you can go from one way of thinking and switch 180 to a total other. it makes you interesting and controversial. which i suppose is why your blog is so popular to begin with.
comment 2:
i don't want to see designer fashion on women that draw attention away from the clothes themselves either. i want to see the clothes on someone who looks like a hanger, because really that's their only job. to be a hanger. we don't want to see distracting boobs or fat or whatever. just the clothes.
however, its hard for me to divide those statements from the other part of me that is screaming "but what about that girl! she is a person too! and she probably hasnt eaten in a week! shes probably so miserable, unable to enjoy wonderful food all so that we can look thru her and only see clothes. that must suck! hopefully when she turns 20 and her careers over, her eating disorder will subside and she will be able to live a life where food is not a luxury, but a balanced part of her life. hopefully she wont live her entire life with the notion hiding in the back of her mind that she is somehow "less than" perfect because she once was beautiful and wanted- but starving. hopefully she will be ok."
its weird how i totally see your comments as normal and agreeable. but then another part of me pipes up and tells me that i have more of a responsibility to know better than to make remarks that so obviously have deeper meaning to them. i cant ignore the deeper meaning. weird.

skylana said...

Yea I mean like i said I don't want models dropping dead on the runway... I don't love bones poking out... But I just don't love a size 12 either.... Although a lot of women including models have eatig disorders it does not mean in any way that all skinny models have eating disorders! Had I never had kids I could have gone on eating loads and loads of fatty disgusting food and stayed a size zero the entire time, that's just how my body was. Now I have to work at it, but I don't have to be anorexic. Assuming that all women who are skinny because they have eating disorders is silly. It's just not true. Besides that I really think if someone has an eating disorder it's a very big deal and they're not going to come from a life where they grew up loving who they are with parents who love who they are and how they look and then see a skinny model and be anorexic.... It takes a lot deeper stuff to make a girl anorexic and if we don't want girls to be anorexic we should work on how we talk about them as parents and how we relate them to the women they see. Anyway I don't need anorexic models just rull skinny ones. Not size 12-14.

JessicaToday said...

ya i know what your saying.
some women are naturally skinny...but you also have to realize that you are thinking of yourself as you were as a teenager pretty much. most naturally skinny girls have minimal fat when they are that age. u can eat and eat and nothin happens. weren't u like 21 or something when u had your first? so you are remembering a body that had not yet been changed by age and slowing metabolism. which affects everyone in some way or another. some women (and u live in LA so u get an unfair/unbalanced notion of how society really is overall) do bounce back and are the same size, and im not saying they have to have an eating disorder to do this but it just doesn't happen as often as women who don't completely get their old figure back, u know?
i DEF dont think all women who are skinny have eating disorders. at all. i do think the majority of models do have some form of restriction as far as their diet goes though. that one im firm on.
some models are naturally skinny, sure. but come on...its pretty clear that many of them are suffering. not many people are that size normally. im sure they started out pretty skinny, but its INSANE how little they actually are. your size zero was prolly fat next to these chicas in some instances.
TOTALLY agree with how we need to talk with our girls as parents to be the biggest advocates to help cut down on eating disorders. i also think that as parents we would do the best job of helping our kids by realizing the other forces in life that do affect them and try to understand that instead of ignoring that it exists for them. which i think is what u were saying anyway. so we agree :)

Nicholle said...

Wow. Yeah, you got it right. You're a bitch.

Monica said...

you go girl.

actually, i'm naturally super skinny. i've never weighed over 100 lbs in my life, but i still aspire to be more toned and "fit." i think it's more about health than anything else. and i like that the media encourages me to go to the gym. otherwise, i might never do it.

i really don't care what weight people are, as long as they're healthy... exercising and eating good foods. myself included.

Liz said...

I completely disagree with you, but that's the lovely thing about blogging right? You have your opinion and I have mine. I've been all different sizes in my life, currently I am on the overweight side after having a baby. I don't hate my body though as your first commenter does. Do I love being overweight? No, but I'm slowly losing, and I do love the fact that my body nourishes my little guy. That and the fact that I brought life into this world (twice.)

My question to you would be, how do you feel about overweight people, not just models? Do you have any discriminatory feelings towards them? Just curious.

kimberlea said...

I'll keep my mouth shut on most points. But I will say that my healthiest weight is 190lbs. Most people would think that's completely disgusting. I'm 6'1" and when I'm the thinest I can be (and still be healthy), when my hip bones stick out just a tiny bit...I'm a size 14. Being higher than a size 6 doesn't always equal fat or unhealthy. We aren't all made the same.

Jennifer said...

i am fat apparently. i feel my best at a size 16. I WISH i looked like this chick! I like to see "plus" size models because it gives me an idea of what clothes would look like on me. if i wanna play dress up with someone super skinny, my husband is always around :)

skylana said...

ok, a couple things to clarify. i DO NOT think that anything like a 12, 14, 16 is FAT. on a regular girl those sizes are great... all i was saying is im not particularly down with runway models being those sizes... there are many reasons and they have nothing to do with hating people of those sizes AT ALL. because i dont. on me those sizes would probably be fat ... i mean it would be adding about 10-14 sizes to me so its hard to imagine how much bigger that would make me... in any case i know that FOR ME those sizes wouldn't be healthy... for other people they are. i'm not talking about health here... (except that i dont promote anorexia, only when i'm joking) haha... seriously though this is completely my idea of what models, particularly runway models should look like in my mind and how i think they should look is for the most part how they look now. like someone said, "hangers" they are there to just be canvases with clothes that are their paint... if a bunch of bigger people or people with large boobs or short people were all mixed together at a runway show it would be SUPER distracting... thats how i see it. i like looking at skinny girls because i like how the clothes hang on them and i like having something to look to that i want to look like. i said i think there should be plus sized models... i just dont want the modeling industry to change completely and i dont want runway models to get bigger. that's all.

ok someone also asked how i feel about overweight people, i dont feel anything about them different than i feel about anyone else... the only time i feel anything is when someone is OBVIOUSLY obese and then i feel that its unhealthy and its a bummer, that's about it.

alright. hope this clarified some things.
1. dont think 12-16, (or whatever) ESPECIALLY because it depends on your height, is fat.
2. dont think there shouldn't be plus sized models at all... i think there should.
3. dont think people who are overweight are weird or ugly or bad or anything. just dont think they're runway models.

i didnt proof read this comment. so sorry.

Patti Jo said...

Your a TOTAL bitch! With waaaaaay too much time on your hands. I think it's time for you get a job!

-bobby- said...

Skylana... Apparently I am the first male to weigh in here... Get it? Weigh in?

I appreciate that you are intelligent enough to see a thin model on a runway and recognize beauty...

Refreshing.

-bob-

-bobby- said...

Skylana... Apparently I am the first male to weigh in here... Get it? Weigh in?

I appreciate that you are intelligent enough to see a thin model on a runway and recognize beauty...

Refreshing.

-bob-

Sarah said...

wow. I completely agree with this post. I read it yesterday and then last night while I was watching TV with my mom, this image popped up with a clip from the girl on the Today show. My mom immediately glanced at me with the worst look on her face ever. She was grossed out. My mom's no model, she's 5'3" and has carried 4 children. She could stand to lose a few pounds. I am no model either...and while it's definitely not healthy to be overweight or underweight, our society has a TON of weight issues regardless of what models look like. All that being said, I agree with you, if someone is trying to sell me clothes, they better be on a skinny model. I'd like to see what that girl looks like sitting up straight.....

Vanessa said...

Long time reader first time commenter. My biggest concern is that you are a mother of little women. You are right that it takes "a lot deeper stuff" then a magazine ad to make a girl become anorexic. That "deeper stuff" could be a mother that conveys something like this "maybe i'm a bitch, but i like my women, and myself, skinny." Being a teenage girl is vicious. I can't even tell you how many girls just in my circle of friends had eating disorders. From what I can tell they had loving parents. A lot of the pressure comes from their peers. A lot of it comes from the media. You can't deny that. I know you are smarter than that. I don't think this women in this ad is going down the runway anytime soon. Maybe Ive misunderstood but wasn't she just in a magazine? The fact of the matter is that the high fashion model industry won't change. Don't get your panties in a bunch the "hanger" size women is here to stay. If we have more commercial models of all different sizes then that would probably make all women just feel better about themselves. I'm honestly not trying to be rude when I say this but when you stated "i like looking at skinny girls because i like how the clothes hang on them and i like having something to look to that i want to look like." You can't look like them. You might be SUPER proud (putting it lightly) of your post baby bod. But I don't think runway models should be short. From your pictures that I've seen of you on this blog. You don't seem like you are 5' 9" or taller. Yeah your waist size might fit these clothes but you are going to have to get some major alterations done in other areas. I understand that you want something to strive for. You strive to be super thin that's great. I just hope you make sure you are conscience of how much attention you call to this around your daughters. They are sponges and it won't be long if not already that they will want to be like you and they will imitate your behavior. The odds are that they only have a 50% chance of getting your amazing metabolism you speak of. You should be "rull" careful of how it might be harder for them to maintain a comfortable body weight considering you've stated you didn't understand that until after you've had children.

skylana said...

Vanessa that's all awes... Thanks for reading for a long time.... I think if you read or re-read the comments I left it would be helpful cause you're missing some stuff I said. I'm not worried for ONE second about what I will pass to my daughters, not at all... Hopefully you read and see the stuff you missed cause I'm done explaining what I think about this... I think what I think and I feel great about it... There it is :)

Amanda said...

I think that it is great seeing all sizes. I like looking at a magazines and seeing plus size models as well as super skinny ones. But remember people. Those plus size models are still taking care of themselves. They are excercising and eating healthy. Anyways, I have always been on the smaller size and here recently have felt attacked by people saying things like "we need to get rid of those stick figures". Um ok people are trying to make plus size models feel better about themselves but at the same time making skinny ones feel bad about themselves by saying things like that. I think we should all embrace our bodies and just stop making everyone else feel bad about theirs.
One thing that I have learned from Skylana is to not be afriad of loving yourself. Her girls will look at their mother and see someone full of confidence and thats a good thing.

Emily said...

Long time reader here. I also have two little ones. I am 30, not 24 - I really wish I still looked 24 =). Just wondering since you are proud of your skinny self, if you don't mind telling us how stay so darn thin. I am totally serious - you look great.

skylana said...

emily, i run a lot and eat healthy (by healthy i mean mostly beans and brown rice burritos and veggies, not much dairy and no meat)... then i go through months where i dont run AT ALL and dont eat healthy... then i go back to it... that way i stay skinny and also get to eat gross sometimes. its not crazy hard for me to stay thin but it is work for me to be the weight that i love.

kachina said...

Skylana-you know i've been reading your blog for YEARS, but this is honestly the first time I've been fairly disappointed with what I read. : ( That makes me sad. I'm glad I read the comments you made...because I feel better knowing how you feel about weight/height/women in general. I have the idea that EVERYONE is beautiful...no matter WHAT. I'll keep reading, of course!, but this blog was so upsetting for me...that's all. : )

kelly said...

hi skylana - i know i'm late to this party, but i read this blog post today and it reminded me of this conversation on your blog. i think it represents a lot of the opinions above in a pretty reasonable way and moves even beyond the "weight" issue to a general "perception of beauty" issue. worth a read.