but really, i was reading emery's blog and thinking about the bond i have just this past two years come to understand for the first time... the bond between women.
i have never been the type to want to stand up and shout that i am a woman, that i am
strong and i am just one of many (i've always thought it was cheesy)... but when i think about natural childbirth i want to scream it at the top of my lungs. no, i dont feel that way with all childbirth (dont be offended at that, its just the truth. i do not feel that way with all childbirth)....
there truly is this bond and intense closeness i feel with other women who choose natural childbirth and have really understood and come into that power of being a strong woman... a woman who knows, i mean KNOWS, she can do anything in this world because she has accomplished the MOST difficult task that exists.
i feel a bond with flo like i have with no one else, because she held me up when i was at the end of myself.. she knew what i needed cause she had been there and her words are what pushed me through and gave me the strength to push my baby out. she held me up, in a way no one else ever has.
i feel a bond with my midwife because in all my mess and pain she knew i would push that child out and she made the way, and after, when my body was weak she held me up, she took care of me like mother to a child. she held me up, in a way no one else has.
i feel a bond with all the women around me who have a passion to see their children brought into this world in the most peaceful, healthful way possible, who will endure whatever comes their way, who will endure pain that is indescribable, that will endure exhaustion that they never thought existed all for the sake of a child they have never seen...
women who have a passion to see this for more and more women, to see all women experience this life changing moment for the sake of their hearts and the sake of the healing it brings, they hold me up ... we hold each other up.
i feel a bond in a movement to change the face of birthing in this country, to end the criminal and unjust ways that have begun to steal the moment a woman becomes a woman. these woman are my sisters, they are a part of me.
i am a woman. i am strong. i am one of many.
7 comments:
It's like Ara and Amelie are birth sisters too. Cause Amelie was in Ara's crib as Ara was getting birthed. Haha. I was just thinking about that today actually.
Love you!
Really lovely.
i love the fact you and flo and emery are so committed to sharing what you have learned about the birth experience with other women who simply may not know what options are out there.
during my pregnancies, i read dozens of books on childbirth and attachment parenting (you know, wearing baby in a sling after birth, breastfeeding, sleepsharing, etc - i am a huge supporter of that) and desperately wanted to use a birthing tub because i instinctively KNEW my body would respond well to water during labor (i am such a pisces haha). i lived in a town of 250,000 people and could not find the options i wanted, and went to the hospital foolishly assuming i would be allowed to do my own thing (like walk around, labor in whatever position i needed to) under doctor supervision of course.
wrong. dead wrong. i had experienced perfect pregnancies, there was no cause for alarm, but i was FORCED to lay on my back with an IV and more monitors than i could count for hours. long story short, healthy babies, unpleasant birth memories.
as a current med student (i'm in dental, but we take the same anatomy and pharmacology classes and medical law and ethics classes as the straight med students do), i am beginning to see WHY the hospitals are run the way they are, and i straddle the fence on this issue. one side of me (the side that gave birth twice in a hospital, knowing i was being forced to treat birth as a "condition" rather than an everyday occurrence) would advise birthing women to steer clear of hospitals if they can, and the other side of me (the medically educated side) understands that hospital staff are following the law to protect themselves AND patients and truly DO have the mother and child's best interests in mind with the use of modern technology. hospitals and staff are not bad, but some are intolerant of ideas that seem "outdated" (like having a baby in a tub in the dining room...which btw i wish was MY birth story, amazing!!!)
anyway, keep sharing your knowledge and encouraging women to seek out options that are right for them, no matter what their mothers and friends tell them. birth has been going on for quite a while now (haha) and i think we all know how to do it instinctively, if we just trust ourselves a little bit.
<3
I've been reading your blog for a couple months now and have soooo enjoyed all the thoughts, feelings and info you have shared. I am currently 14 weeks pregnant with my first. We have chosen to have a natural birth in a birth center. I have always been passionate about learning about birth and pregnancy, and even with the little bit that I do know, I found myself in tears reading this blog entry. I so identified with that feeling!
So thank for sharing all that you do. I am always anxious to learn more!
well said.
yes!
its funny cause i totally feel like im in the same category, even though i had about an hr of pain relief after 40+hrs HARD posterior-baby labor at home, before going on to another 10 HARD hrs in the hospital where i basically was fighting the extra fight to protect my empowerment as a woman and to make choices to protect my baby, though i hadnt slept or ate in 65hrs and wouldnt sleep/eat for another 7. even though it wasn't 'technically' all natural, i feel the same inner feeling of YES i did that, i kept going and going, one contraction at a time, after the 15th hr of STILL being 8cm, cause i KNEW it was best for my baby, cause i loved my baby, cause i KNEW i could do it, that my husband believed in me and my body and that he loved our child as well. i can never find the right words to describe the feeling of elation that with every push of the 2+hrs pushing in an upright kneeling position (that i INSISTED on to the horror of the hospital staff) i could feel her moving down, slowly, but i could feel my bones moving an creaking, her rotating, that it was ME and only me that could be the one to do this, to bring our child, and that i was stronger than the pain, that people believed in me to do it ...and the elation of reaching down and bringing my baby to my own breast (also to the horror of the hospital staff. ha ha).
bliss.
lovely pictures. we have some of our own, the loveliest being the ones at home, without the iv lines everywhere. you're welcome to see them, just send me your email if you'd like.
kate h.
i had my baby in a hospital...endured 23 hours of labor in a hospital before having an epidural.
i loved my birth experience, but your blog was so touching... it made me want to explore the natural option. and those pictures are really inspiring.
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