Friday, July 11, 2008
mom life crisis
i am having a mom life crisis. i'm just feeling a little crazy about the fact that all i have to do is be mom/wife... i mean i love those things, but i dont like waking up every morning and not even having something to do (i mean besides laundry, dishes, cleaning and feeding arabella)... its nice sometimes, but after a while it gets boring. i feel like my days have no purpose. it feels like when you quit a job that you dont like and then you still have two weeks left and you are just dreading everyday of that two weeks you have left... you know, you just have to get through them. that's how i feel about just staying home with arabella all the time. i love her so much and she's so funny and sweet and great... it has nothing to do with her.... its just me, i'm not the kind to stay home and do nothing every single day. i want to interact with people, but i want to do it without her there sometimes. seth and i went to farmers last night and i feel like every person i ran into i just talked there head off because i never get out, so as soon as i did i just had an outburst. its not like i wanna just go hang out with people either, i want to have something to do, i mean obviously a job... i loved loved loved working at starbucks... i love that kind of job, where you just do a mindless task but you get to interact with people all day long. but right now obviously i can't get a job like that during the day, and working at night would just make the fact that seth and i dont have a lot of time together worse, plus people dont usually hire 5 month pregnant people. i'm having seth finally print out my business cards and i'm going to just start out giving them to people and scheduling consultations, i can do those during ara's nap or on saturdays and then i'll just go from there. we'll see. i just can't live like this all the time. i need my life back.