Friday, November 7, 2008

oh are there circles under my eyes?

seth and i did not sleep last night. he slept a little but not well since he couldn't breathe and arabella was waking up like a crazy person... and i never fell asleep. i had contractions all night that were painful and close enough together that i never had a chance to fall asleep.... this is so ridiculous, its almost been two weeks of contractions EVERY day. mary wants me to try taking calcium/magnesium to try and stop this instead of trying anything to make it progress... so i feel totally defeated and depressed now. i'm just in so much pain, i want this to end, not drag on.. i mean without the contractions i'm in so much pain... and it just makes it so frustrating to clean the house and do the dishes and laundry... i would never dream of not doing that stuff because if i went into labor with a messy house i would have a nervous breakdown... and i can do it, its just hard and painful and SLOW. annoying. anyway i'm spent and i can't believe that i could still have until like november 19th before she comes. how will i even function? i'm seriously in the mood for pitocin/epidural... who cares if my baby is sleepy and can't nurse? ahhahahahahahahha. seriously though.


Cheatwoods said...

I know how you feel, both my labors I asked for help and both times they said I was to far along to get anything. In the end, I was so glad I didnt get an epi but during I was screaming for it! Bless you you can do it! Lord let this baby comes out!

meg said...

seriously though, don't you sometimes wish you were still completely naive to everything you know about birth and hospitals and epidurals?

Nola would have been here, medicated and prolly by csection, like two weeks ago.

Lisa said...

I am cooking you a meal and bringing it up this afternoon. Love, aunt lisa

Jasmine said...

Hi Skylana, Google reader introduced me to your blog :) How did Google reader know I live on the central coast?

Anyway, I wanted to be a bit of a cheerleader for you. You can do this! There are reasons you decided to have an unmed home birth and they are good reasons! There are plenty of times that we all want to back down on those decisions and just get the baby OOOUUUTTT, but you WILL deliver your sweet baby girl soon and that love for her will make all of this pain worth it.

Having said all of that, I know plenty of people who had epidurals whose babies nursed a heck of a lot better than my unmed birth firstborn. You know, just in case... because your birth choices have to be about YOU, nobody else is going to remember.

skylana said...

meg- seriously? yes.
aunt lisa- you are so sweet! and we miss seeing you so much!
jasmine- thanks for checking out my blog and bein so sweet!

skylana said...

aunt lisa-- hopefully you'll come back and read this, but i JUST got your voicemail after you left and i dont even have your number and i didn't have a missed call from you! sorry i didn't call you, i just didn't know you called til you were already here! thank you again!