Monday, November 3, 2008

stop me if you've heard this one...

but during all these politics an issue has come up that does a lot with seth and i... the fact that a lot of times we dont agree... or at least it doesn't seem that we do and after a very long conversation we either find common ground or come to understand each other. sometimes the fact that there are huge moral issues or beliefs or political stances that we dont agree on or one of us seems sure about and the other doesn't.... can make life very hard, can make living together as one person a struggle. but honestly i LOVE this struggle. it makes me cry, it makes me feel alone sometimes and it makes us fight... but more than that it makes me grow, it makes us closer, it makes us talk and it makes us go deeper. its easy to be married to someone when you agree on the base issues of your moral beliefs or the base issues of your political stance, some base issues we do agree on, but there are those we dont, or we're not sure about and their not like 'oh does seth believe in speaking in tongues' or something random that doesn't matter (i know, can you even believe i've really had that conversation?)... they're the core... its not easy to understand another person when you can't relate on the big issues, but somehow as we've proven to each other it can be done. i dont mean to be a brag or anything but honestly this is one of the things that makes us both feel like our marriage is the best... its soooooo good. its so right, so not scary. when we started out our communication was INSANE.... and to think that we have come to the point where we can talk about major differences in the foundation of who we are or what we believe and still feel like we're one and still find love and understanding for the other, most the time without fighting about it, is amazing. i love the place we have come to these days, its so secure... i know we will face challenges as we get older, but there is not ONE single thing either of us could think of that in our minds even sheds one bit of doubt that we could make it through and make it through as an even better pair. i dont even know how to really describe this kind of love or commitment in words but i'm so thankful for it and i love being able to look at each other and honestly say 'i love our marriage, its the best. i'm truly so happy'... and even more to hear him say the same and to know we both mean it. we have our fights and we have our misunderstandings, but i think the work we've done this past 3 years of being the most brutally honest both of us could possibly be... has paid off and will pay off the rest of our lives. we both have had the feelings of wanting out and thinking this will be too much... we've both felt trapped... we've both felt like we rushed this... we've both doubted if this was right... we've both felt like we missed out. but i dont ever feel that way anymore, deep in my heart there is not one ounce of any of those things left... we have proven ourselves to each other in a way that cannot be changed by time, or error, or anything in this world.

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