Saturday, April 11, 2009
i love jesus.
i really do.
when i read the bible... which is beyond rarely.. but none the less, when i do i love who he was. i love the way he loved, i love the way he challenged religious minds, i love the way he lived with conviction... whether i believe he was right is irrelevant to my life as well as my perception of him. him being God or not does not change the love i have for the person he was or the things he did. i have heard so many people say that if he's not God then he's a liar and not someone they would want to follow... i dont understand the logic because from what we can read of him, him as a liar is greater than most of us being as truthful as we can be. the way i see jesus, i know, is very different than most of my christian friends and family.. but i dont feel that its any less. knowing who he was has changed my life.. if seth came to me tomorrow and said he was God i wouldn't love him any different and i wouldn't discount all he has done as my dear friend... he is one of the most amazing people i have ever known and the way he loves is beyond what i feel my heart can grasp... if he believed he was God, i wouldn't give a shit.. to be perfectly honest.
that's how i feel about jesus, if he was a crazy person who thought he was God, but loved with that much intensity, that much conviction, and in that much service.. does it really matter?
jesus can be God, he can not be God... either way when i read for myself about the person he was i admire him and want to learn to love like him. i believe that there are few things that i am deeply convicted about for my life and i dont believe that all in all i live a life of spiritual conviction... but i do respect very highly people who live that way in love.
seth and i have become very different these past three years, there's still a lot we do relate on but a lot that we dont...i respect so much the conviction he has for what he believes and how he balances the truth of what it is he believes with how he loves. i have a handful of christian friends that i respect so much because i can see how they truly love in a way that i believe jesus did... which i think is really hard considering his unfriendly message. its hard to balance the part where i go to hell with the part where you love me without trying to make me like you... if that makes sense... and i have some friends who balance that beautifully.
all this to say that despite the fact that i am not a christian, there are people i know who's lives are impacted by his love everyday and they live it out in a way i can admire and i love who jesus was and am blown away that he had so much conviction for what he believed that it took him to his grave. to impact the world for centuries after your death is an amazing accomplishment and something i believe comes from living a life of greatness. i only hope that the impact he has through his people and people like me who loved him can be for peace and love, not hate and bigotry.