i have found my spiritual soulmate in deepak chopra.
i just started reading The Book of Secrets: unlocking the hidden dimensions of your life... and its changing my life.
thank you to bryan stupar for posting that video because i finally feel like i'm entering the peace phase of this 3 year struggle to find who or what it is that i really believe in. i feel peace with myself, peace with others, peace with death... just peace with the whole of life. its so crazy that i finally feel this, i think i had actually forgotten what peace even felt like.
its amazing to finally feel like i have a complete bond with another human being, whether i know them or not, as far as my belief system... its been sooooo long since i have connected with someone on that level. not that im actually connecting with him, because i dont know him haha but to just know that i'm not alone and that there is someone who shares the same philosophy as me... there is so much peace there. its amazing to have someone to really learn things from again, like someone to look up to when it comes to this kind of stuff... i haven't felt like i had anyone to look up to spiritually for the past 3 years, maybe longer. i wish everyone would read this book. he is the first person that has given me a reason i can understand for having a sense of what is right and wrong. its not that i had stopped believing in right and wrong, i still do, always have, but i wasn't sure where that definition of it was coming from and when he explains in the book what he believes i was like 'oh... exactly'. i dont believe its coming from the 'holy spirit' or the bible or jesus or even God.
i know this blog is scattered but my mind is just in the middle of being blown.
he is so balanced and i love it... i'm so sick of extreme religion. for me, just the way the average christian person views the world is very extreme and i'm not the kind of person who would be ok with thinking there is no higher power at all or there is no spirit, only science... i've been in the middle trying to understand how to make love and science, ego and selflessness, death and life exist in balance together. he speaks of these things with so much balance that the world looks different. its like everything i have been going through these years has been leading up to this moment, one of what i hope will be many, of clarification and revelation. its so amazing to hear someone talk about love and unity with all humans without attributing it to a religion you are 'supposed' to believe (which actually most religions dont promote unity), its so amazing to hear someone talk about our inner selves, the good and the bad as a whole... without talking like somehow we in our nature are evil or sinful...
this is where i see God, in freedom, in love, in acceptance of who i am with NO condemnation... people would always say there is no condemnation in christ, but i never felt that way around his people. for the first time i feel truly at peace with who i am, what i believe and how that relates to the rest of the world. i feel completely secure.