Wednesday, May 6, 2009


to every single person who has said they dont want gay marriage to be legal because they dont want it taught to their children in school....

i'm horrified.

this has made me so frustrated i can't even express it. for my own reasons this makes me angry, but watching oprah today made me furious.

the two young boys who's mothers talked to oprah today about losing their sons to suicide were bullied, manly because the bullies thought they were gay.

this is the kind of hate that will continue to breed in a hostile environment. the only way to lessen hate is to teach acceptance. when will you closed minded ignorant judges change your ways and learn to let others be? why do you feel so threatened at people being different than you?

i want same sex marriage to be legal for so many reasons, but this is the biggest reason to me... if our children keep learning that marriage is only right one way then we will only continue to breed intolerance and ignorance.

the truth of the matter is, no matter what marriage is to you or me, to some it is a union between two men or two women. this is love to some people, this is their life, this is them... we HAVE to figure out a way to accept that. i dont mean in a 'i love them i just dont love what they do' kind of way... i mean in a real way, in a way where we wholly accept them and allow them to have the rights we feel we deserve. this is not just for them, it is for us as a society, for our future. so that hopefully we can move towards more love and more acceptance and farther away from me being right and you being wrong (and that being all that matters). if you dont teach your children that people can love differently than them and should still have the rights they themselves enjoy, then i truly hope someone else will teach your child that.

(and just so i dont get any arguments with these stances:
yes i think plural marriage should be legal.
within the range of adulthood (whatever age we as a society decide that to be)two consenting adults (or more), i believe, should be allowed to love who they want and be able to express that in the same ways i am allowed to. )


Janelle said...

I just wanted to express my appreciation of your bluntness and applaud you in your understanding of nonconformist thinking. It's refreshing to hear.

A friend of a friend blogger!

Jason+Shannon said...

Well said. There is so much to be said here. I keep re-writing. I'm prefacing this with that I'm a horrible writer and suck at keeping my thoughts straight:
I respect that people, particularly Christians, don't believe that God condones gay marriage. They, just like those who are gay, are entitled to their own opinions and lives. What I don't understand is the fear, the hate. I know a lot of people who are against gay marriage don't necessarily tell their children to hate gay people but it's like this sin, one of the least mentioned in the Bible, is thought of as the worst. Never mind if you have sex before marriage, live together, get too drunk, think horrible thoughts, gossip or lie, if you're gay then there is something REALLY wrong with you. I'm blessed to have a lot of wonderful friends in my life who happen to by gay, amazing individuals. The thought that I have more rights as a human than they do because I happen to fall in love with the opposite sex trips me out. I know this issue is huge: do you believe in God, in the inerrancy of the Bible, if so how do you respond to those things, I'm not ignorant to how many aspects can be looked at. I do know this, from a Christian perspective (so assuming being gay is wrong), if God gave us humans a free will then why is there this need to take it away from others? And from a US citizen's perspective, how do we justify withholding rights (pursuit of happiness comes to mind) from our peers?
I don't have any children yet but I will one day. And whether I believe what someone else does is wrong or right I would never breed ANY form of hate or even distaste in them towards another human. It's unproductive and wrong.

Like I said, horrible writer. Hopefully this wasn't too all over the place. Good post Skylana:)

Sarah Corbett said...

I really couldn't agree more. this is a topic i am so passionate about. why would any parent choose to teach their children to hate people who are not like themselves? this is so damaging. some would argue..."i'm not teaching my children to hate homosexuals, i just don't think they should be allowed to marry eachother..." seriously, please explain the difference and logic in this. if you don't have anything against "them", then why do you care if they get married? as parents who wants to raise two strong, smart and loving men, we will teach them to accept and befriend people from all walks of life. i want my children to know that whatever beliefs, careers, or sexual preference they choose, they have to embrace it and be proud of who they are.

meg said...

I believe it's fear of the unknown that drives us to hate.
I think knowledge is not just power, it's freedom and that's what our country is supposed to be all about.

I don't believe this is an issue for our government to regulate. It isn't the government's place to tell us what to believe or who we can and can't love.

I would like to know what the argument is from people that disagree with this post. Any takers?

JessicaToday said...

u should volunteer at a local activist event if u have any in your area anytime soon. look it up. they need people like you who are passionate about this topic to support them. just an idea. im right there with you in the furiousness. its infuckingcredible.

skylana said...

i've thought about that a lot of times jessica and i think i really should, and will. its weird just how important this issue is to me. its very close to my heart.

JessicaToday said...

dont hesitate next time u hear of an event...just go...or better yet search it out. there is NOTHING better than participating in something you are passionate about. not drugs not sex its the best rush ever.

The Avilas said...

um.. guess i am the only one with the guts to say...

i completely disagree. in every aspect. and pretty sure you don't want to hear why...since you have had this discussion with Travis before.

sorry. i feel competely the opposite.
just had to chime in.

skylana said...

jenn- i'm not the kind of person who doesn't want to hear why someone believes what they believe. me and travis did talk about this and i dont think i didn't care about why he thought what he thought or that he did think what he did. it does make me upset because thinking that way and wanting to love dont mix in my head... but i can get past my upset any day with someone who wants to talk... and who deep down, really does want to love. conversation is good, its better than a stand still any day.

skylana said...

and dont be sorry for thinking the opposite, if its what you believe and its true in your heart... then stand by that. it may make me frustrated and i may not understand it, but if its your heart there is no reason to be sorry for your convictions.

A thankful heart said...

I don't want to argue or cause conflict either...but Skylana, you know where Rex and I stand on this issue. We don't agree with it and won't promote this lifestyle to our children. We also don't promote, condone or allow hate. I don't care what the issue is, we do not want for our children to hate anyone for any reason. I firmly believe you can love someone and totally dissagree on maybe all moral/lifestyle issues. I want to raise our three boys the same way my parents raised matt, andy and love unconditionally...and to understand that God created every person and loves each person equally. He never condones's late and I'm starting to sound repetitious..but point: you CAN love people without agreeing and encouraging their habbits/choices/lifestyle!!!

Hope you're enjoying soCal as much as you thought you would!! I bet the weather and shopping (thrifting!) is wonderful!!!

skylana said...

kendall- you and your family are exceptional. i have NEVER in my life... i mean EVER met anyone as conservative as your family that also makes everyone feel loved. it amazes me. like i said before 'hopefully we can move towards more love and more acceptance and farther away from me being right and you being wrong (and that being all that matters)' ... i dont think you are a person who only wants to be right. maybe you feel very strongly about this issue, but somehow you are able to love past it, most people who have this stance are not. i do agree that we can love and disagree.. i dont agree that denying another the same right you have is still love, i guess that is where we differ. i think kids need to be taught to accept how other people live whether they think its right or not. they need to grow up feeling secure in knowing that others can live differently and they dont need to control the choices others make for their lives. to me that's what this issue has become about, control. there is no reason why people who dont agree with this should deny another human their right to marry, except control. i do believe that you will teach your children to love everyone no matter what because that's what i see you and matt & char and your parents do.

skylana said...

i really really would like someone from the opposite side to answer meg's question from above. it seems to be a question the opposite side skirts A LOT.. jenn? kendall? anyone?

Flo Oakes said...

I completely agree with Meg and to answer a little bit--I think a HUGE problem with America, and the Christian Right, is that "we" want America to regulate morality.

I've heard the argument that
I know other Christians talk all day and night about how our nation was founded on "christian values"
and that now the nation is going downhill....I would say the same thing about how it started.
I'm sorry, but giving chicken-pox ridden blankets to the Native Americans and running out the Mexicans is not consistent with my Christian worldview.

We want to control the rights of others we don't agree with, yet freak out if we lose the right to homeschool our kids. (something I DO want the right to do)

Why is marriage so defined by our American Government anyway? As a Christian, I believe it is a covenant between me, my spouse and my God. Interesting that we Christians feel the need to have to include the government in on that one.

I guess the better question would be, why is our Christianity defined by our nation? I consider myself a Christian first, and an American second but I think the religious right has it the other way around.

skylana said...

AMAZING point flo. thank you for that.

skylana said...

my friend ian had this insightful comment but blogspot would not allow him to post it... so he asked me to post it for him.

'agree and disagree. to explain…marriage is a religious institution.
religion was the first to formulate it, deify it, and set aside a
celebratory day in recognition. monogamy existed before, but religion was
the first to acknowledge the structure of marriage as a unit, per se. in
this regard, the union of marriage is theirs to own and do with as they

however, a problem arises when a supposedly pluralistic and non-partisan
entity such as the US government acknowledges this religious institution
by giving tax breaks, etc. this nation was founded on a separation of
church and state, but in practice it falls short of upholding this notion.

maybe this? give religion the term "marriage" (say it like the priest from
princess bride…makes it better.) however, the government should pull all
ties it has with the term marriage. in its stead, it should advocate
civil union for all regardless of sexuality and funnel the benefits
through this 'new' framework.

for those religious people that think that they can reconcile god's hate
claims & crimes against homosexuals with the love that christ promotes,
thus negating the bible's straight (pun intended) forward stance on this
subject, you're deluding yourself. the bible is very clear about this
lifestyle. don't pick and choose what you want in your belief system…you
can't. when you break apart from certain fundamental core features of
your belief system you don't have that actual belief system anymore.
you're diluting the bible's supposed absolute truth and authority and
playing the role of the ever-so-subtle and manipulative lucifer that your
religion hates. stick to your guns.

Leviticus 18:22 is translated: "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with
womankind: it is abomination."

and yes, the new testament verifies this prejudice in Rom. 1:26-27.

the subtleties of prejudice are astounding. righteousness should not be
confused with hate. it's kinda hard to believe that we haven't learned
from our past misdeeds.'

you can find ians blog here

Jason+Shannon said...

Flo-you worded what I was thinking so much better. I completely agree with all of it.

meg said...

I was going to post a way less eloquent comment but Flo and Ian laid it out just right. I'll express in more detail perhaps later, but I'd like to hear some responses from others first.

Good discussion btw.

JasonWoods said...

heres ur chance.
i may do this as well. just thought of u when I saw it. good opportunity to be involved. take care :)

JasonWoods said...

oops! didnt see that Im signed in on my husbands blog. its jessicatoday.

stina said...

i like this discussion much better than the ones on here people have been so argumentative about, as opposed to just discussing. *sigh might sound cheesy but it's like this is all being done in love, for once, and not out of hate and telling someone off online via blog commenting. so refreshing

skylana said...

jess haha i was wondering! i'm TOTALLY doing that. i'm really excited. thank you for linking that to me ;)

and stina i like it too.

meg said...

It's awesome btw that your blog is titled "furious" and yet everyone's being so calm.

skylana said...

aight jess... i called and left a VM... your turn. lets do it together and hang out!

JessicaToday said...

Yay Im glad you signed up! I am totototally there...if my schedule allows me. :( it sucks right now im in the process of finding a job and i wont know what kinds of hours i will have until i find said job....hopefully not but i may end up having to work on the weekends...we shall see. I will know within the next couple of weeks...but Im gunna try real hard cause this is so something i want my hands...and face...and feet...and just!
Ill let ya know soon...and for sure we should do it together that would be fun! Getting to hang with gay boys(& girls)AND the famous much better could it get???

skylana said...

my friend anna coulnd find thid entry but wanted to post this:

Blogger anna joy said...

hi skylanaaa,

i finally found this thing i wanted to show you, but i cant find the post that i wanted to comment on (it was the one about the boys killing themselves because people made fun of them). I think I already commented on that but I cant remember. But I wanted to show you this message that the LA branch of my church did at this ministry conference thingy we had about homosexuality. I know you are really open to hearing other peoples ideas and view points, and from everything I've gathered (being Christian) this is the best explanation of a biblical viewpoint on it (I've heard... and i know you have too... alot of horrible and WRONG ways to approach the topic from Jesus point of view). Anyways, sorry to be a buzz kill on this really cute post hahah i guess i'm not blog savvy enough to find the other one. heres the link to that message:

i'd love to hear what you think of it :)


and my friend ian emailed me this in response:

i found the rest of tim chaddick's msg that anna joy posted a link to.
the attached video concerns his claim that all homosexuals are despondent,
with childhoods riddled in sexual deviancy and abuse. he presupposes that
b/c of this they look for love in all the wrong places. he was adamant
enough about this claim to write some relevant music and perform after his

skylana said...

woa my spelling.

skylana said...

oh.. .just in case anyone listens to those and is wondering my opinion... it makes me want to puke.