Tuesday, June 16, 2009
my blessing my curse
i'm a multitasking junkie. (yes i'm the man in the backround, not the lady)
this is an amazing thing about me. i can do 5 things at once, and i can do them well. not to sound too arrogant but, when you are an intelligent person you dont have to try as hard at the things you put your hands or mind to in order for other people to think you've done an amazing job. i have been able to use this to my advantage mixed with my gift of multitasking to become so efficient at all the things i do its almost ridiculous. i have systems upon systems and i can layer like no one when getting things done. i get things done crazy fast and crazy good. i could probably do better if i slowed down, but most the time the end result is above average anyway, so there's no need for extra effort.
the down side... is that i need it.
i NEED more than one thing going on, all the time. all the time. ideally i would engage in about 3 activities that demand my attention at once. a lot of times this is the case. i can't read without listening to music and sometimes while i read and listen to music i need to text someone or watch tv also, so that i can focus on my book. if i sit with a book, in silence, i might as well be in a normal person's crowded party trying to read because its not gonna happen. its hard for me to spend time with one person, it could be seth or any one of my closest friends, and unless i'm sad i need something else to focus on while talking with them... so i can focus on them. lately i've tried to watch shows or movies without also being on the internet and texting someone. its really really really hard for me. its like my mind just keeps getting distracted and i keep saying 'mind, please watch this movie. be satisfied. pay attention.' this is why smoking with seth has been so great, its like the one time we sit down and talk without having a million other things going on where i actually feel like i'm fully there. the cigarettes mellow my brain enough for me to be on the same level as a regular person. to come out of my head and live in the real world.
i want to figure out a way to mellow and focus, but i dont want to lose my multitasking skills.
does anyone else have this problem? i feel almost addicted to multitasking, like i need it in order to function properly....