Tuesday, June 16, 2009

my blessing my curse


i'm a multitasking junkie. (yes i'm the man in the backround, not the lady)

this is an amazing thing about me. i can do 5 things at once, and i can do them well. not to sound too arrogant but, when you are an intelligent person you dont have to try as hard at the things you put your hands or mind to in order for other people to think you've done an amazing job. i have been able to use this to my advantage mixed with my gift of multitasking to become so efficient at all the things i do its almost ridiculous. i have systems upon systems and i can layer like no one when getting things done. i get things done crazy fast and crazy good. i could probably do better if i slowed down, but most the time the end result is above average anyway, so there's no need for extra effort.

the down side... is that i need it.

i NEED more than one thing going on, all the time. all the time. ideally i would engage in about 3 activities that demand my attention at once. a lot of times this is the case. i can't read without listening to music and sometimes while i read and listen to music i need to text someone or watch tv also, so that i can focus on my book. if i sit with a book, in silence, i might as well be in a normal person's crowded party trying to read because its not gonna happen. its hard for me to spend time with one person, it could be seth or any one of my closest friends, and unless i'm sad i need something else to focus on while talking with them... so i can focus on them. lately i've tried to watch shows or movies without also being on the internet and texting someone. its really really really hard for me. its like my mind just keeps getting distracted and i keep saying 'mind, please watch this movie. be satisfied. pay attention.' this is why smoking with seth has been so great, its like the one time we sit down and talk without having a million other things going on where i actually feel like i'm fully there. the cigarettes mellow my brain enough for me to be on the same level as a regular person. to come out of my head and live in the real world.

i want to figure out a way to mellow and focus, but i dont want to lose my multitasking skills.

does anyone else have this problem? i feel almost addicted to multitasking, like i need it in order to function properly....

12 comments:

begin and end, again said...

me totally. thats why the internet is my drug. i'm currently on facebook talking to a friend, reading your blog and commenting, emailing, and organizing my planner. BUUUUT, i don't do certain things well while multitaking, like writing papers or reading non-fiction. it's actually been really troubling lately and i've considered going to a dr. to get addeall but isn't that basically speed? i would smoke cigs but they're terrible for you and i think they stink.

kimberlea said...

my laptop is my blessing/curse. i love being able to check my email or go shopping while cuddled up in bed...but now i can't watch tv/movies without my laptop in front of me. once i've checked my usual sites i put it down...and then pick it back up 10 minutes later and recheck all the same sites as if something has changed.

addicted.

kimberlea said...

ps. i'm currently at work, reading your blog, filling out a peer evaluation, and getting paperwork together to go meet with a patient.

Sarah said...

I'm exactly like that...I need multiple things happening to be productive. I will be watching tv, listening to music reading all at the same time. I need the distractions to focus, otherwise my mind fills that void and I get distracted. I feel like it doesn't make sense, but your post explains it perfectly. As for figuring a way to mellow and focus...I suggest you just keep doing what you are doing. Multitask and when you want to really mellow, pour a glass of wine, smoke a cigarette or meditate. I wish I had good advice, but I am the same way, I couldn't have said it any better meyself!

Elissa Rachael Parrish said...

ummmm ya my therapist says it's the fact that i am hyper-vigilant... it's not a positive thing in my life but i am figuring it out... lets talk..
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meg said...

oh priceless, I just read your blog while watching a show, but not just an episode, an episode with commentary that I'd never seen before, and I am on the phone.

I also do this at work. But there it's actually productive things and it feels good, my theory is that once I have a day filled with multitasking, I just can't STOP.

It bugs Andy to no end, cause when I get home I can't just sit down and do nothing, I have to be doing two or three things. It's a blessing and a curse.

I don't feel distracted and not able to concentrate though. If I'm only engaged in one thing I feel like I'm wasting valuable time. Time that could be spent accomplishing something worthwhile.

Let me know if you figure out the cure or remedy...or maybe I'll just change my perspective on it from a curse to a blessing.

skylana said...

i just sat and read a book for two hours. i only had music for about the last 30 mins and it was music with NO lyrics. i'm becoming a better person ;)

meg said...

"better person" priceless.

-bobby- said...

Hmmmm.... We should start a group therapy session online... But all of us would just check it every fifteen minutes....

mine... and now yours. said...

im totally like this, especially needing more than one person to talk to at once, and housework. my brain is constantly thinking 'ok, im moving this direction in the house, so this this and this can all go that direction, drop the dishes on the way to the bathroom, towels in the drawer, etc...' problem is that chris isnt like this at all and i get this crazy anger at him when he doesnt think that way or takes a million times longer to do something half as well as i would have. then i remember im just crazy.

JessicaToday said...

smart/intelligent women do this. its our brains. they don't stop.
men are just not wired the same way. they need to focus on one thing and that one thing only (most of the time anyhow).
i chalk it up to evolution.
women had to keep the kids alive and in line. so we multitask because there's no other choice. we see all the things we need to do and we cant stop ourselves from getting it all handled.
this could now translate into silly/whatever things or it could mean real important stuff. either way its born from the same need to go go go. survive survive survive.
this is my theory :)
i see it as a positive...except when you want it to stop. when this happens u basically have to force yourself to reprogram. but its possible. usually its easiest when your doing something that you absolutely love and that good feeling is what keeps the distracting thoughts from entering.
surrender to that feeling and i think that's where easy focus comes into play.

Ashley Weis said...

i think multi-tasking is a gift. to be able to cook dinner, keep two kids occupied, and clean up all at the same time... AND FAST... is a blessing.

but the other things... listening to music while reading, texting while nursing, watching tv and talking on the phone, eating dinner with hubby and spacing out about the to-do list... those are not good things.

i have major issues with this, as i'm sure most women do at some point. my MIL is a hyper version of this because she doesn't want to stop and rest, she's doesn't like who she is underneath the surface and she's afraid if she stops long enough to rest she'll have to think about who she really is.

i think, for me, it's not so much that, as it is i don't know how to rest.

but rest is a good thing... and God has been teaching me lately how to rest. last night i went to the book store. i really didn't want to. i was feeling pretty ugh and didn't want to do anything. and when i came back home... the night out did NOTHING for me. it made me feel worse... because even during my "rest" i wasn't resting. i had 6 different books in my lap that i skimmed through while i texted people.

i want to rest in God and who he made me to be. i want to be able to sit in a park, no phones, no computers, no journal, nothing, and just listen and be and rest and live.

this culture makes it more difficult with all of our gadgets. i don't take my cell phone with me when i go out. i don't want to talk to other people when i'm with someone else. so i just leave it there.

but it's not easy... my brain seriously wants to go in 5,000 directions... but when i ask God to help me find rest, and i'm actually willing to do so, i find it. and it feels good.

i can actually nurse my baby in silence for 15 minutes and enjoy it. i pray for him and i take him in, everything from his little dimple fingers to his chubby toes. and i love those times of rest now.

i want more true rest.