you know its serious when i use all caps.
VOTE FOR ARABELLA AND NOLA!
you can vote everyday.
you have to register the first time, but its a small price to pay for my babies :)
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
children of alcoholics
i have a question.
i'm not really blogging again but this is the best way for me to contact many people and hopefully find someone with a common experience.
i dont think i know anyone who had or has alcoholic parents, if i do they haven't ever told me.
anyway whenever seth drinks and i dont (so i'm FULLY aware of how he is) i get SUPER freaked out. it has NOTHING to do with him. he's never crazy drunk or even drunk, weird or anything. i feel uncomfortable with him drinking, like i wont be safe if he's drinking... if he gets a buzz and i can tell and i dont have one i start to get massive anxiety and i feel totally unsafe (again, nothing to do with him because he's the same when he drinks, only more fun maybe? ;) haha. the way his eyes look remind me of my moms when she was drunk (i'm sure ANYONE's eyes would remind me of hers when they're drinking but i dont pay attention to other peoples eyes) .... anyway, i just wanted to know if other people who had alcoholic parents dealt with this and how they fixed it or what... i dont want to be paranoid when he drinks and i want to act like i trust him when he's drinking... because inside i do trust him but i dont act like it because i just feel like a little girl again who has no one to take care of them. i just feel alone and afraid even though there's nothing to be afraid of, i'm not alone, i'm safe and he doesn't even actually need to be taking care of me! ha.
anyway if you have had this same thing tell me about it please... if you dont want to write on here you can always email me...
ibloomblaum@hotmail.com
i'm not really blogging again but this is the best way for me to contact many people and hopefully find someone with a common experience.
i dont think i know anyone who had or has alcoholic parents, if i do they haven't ever told me.
anyway whenever seth drinks and i dont (so i'm FULLY aware of how he is) i get SUPER freaked out. it has NOTHING to do with him. he's never crazy drunk or even drunk, weird or anything. i feel uncomfortable with him drinking, like i wont be safe if he's drinking... if he gets a buzz and i can tell and i dont have one i start to get massive anxiety and i feel totally unsafe (again, nothing to do with him because he's the same when he drinks, only more fun maybe? ;) haha. the way his eyes look remind me of my moms when she was drunk (i'm sure ANYONE's eyes would remind me of hers when they're drinking but i dont pay attention to other peoples eyes) .... anyway, i just wanted to know if other people who had alcoholic parents dealt with this and how they fixed it or what... i dont want to be paranoid when he drinks and i want to act like i trust him when he's drinking... because inside i do trust him but i dont act like it because i just feel like a little girl again who has no one to take care of them. i just feel alone and afraid even though there's nothing to be afraid of, i'm not alone, i'm safe and he doesn't even actually need to be taking care of me! ha.
anyway if you have had this same thing tell me about it please... if you dont want to write on here you can always email me...
ibloomblaum@hotmail.com
Thursday, October 1, 2009
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