Friday, February 19, 2010

hello world

its me, skylana.

obviously i've been in hiding.

but i'm ready to come out. not forever, but at least to let you know what's going on.

i'm going to assume the readers i have already know that me and seth split up. hence, the hiding. i needed a little bit of time to have my mind all to myself, and while long term i expect to keep it that way, i felt it was the right time to explain the absence.... or at least give an update.

the absence has been explained, i stopped writing because of the sensitive nature of the situation at hand.

the situation wont be explained because if you've read this blog for any amount of time i'm going to venture to say you don't need an explanation, and also, its no ones business. (i know coming from me that must sound like blasphemy.)

the rest of this is purely for an update....
its only almost been a month since i decided to leave our marriage.
i believe time is only making things better.
i've gotten a couple of jobs that are great. good places to work with nice people in a good environment.
i've gotten a car. the first car i've ever had in my name, thats all my own. about time huh?
i'm signing the lease on my apartment tomorrow.

life has been a bit crazy on the outside, and its been hard for both seth and i. but both of us know we can make this situation the best it can be for our babies and both of us want their happiness more than anything.

on the inside, in my heart, all my struggles have passed. there is a freedom in truth that you can't get from anything else, sometimes the truth hurts and you'd rather it wasn't true... but it just is. and reconciling yourself to it is the only way to find peace.

i'm at peace with where i am and hopeful about the future. i love seth and my girls very much and believe we will all be just great. we really will.

i'm sure there are many places that these words will flat upon, with no one there to receive them, but for the first time, truly, i dont care what one person thinks. i know i've said i didn't care before, clearly i did... but coming to this place, where there is nothing left to hide or any reason compelling me to wish for anyones approval, i finally really honestly feel so good inside and couldn't care less about what anyone else's opinion is on my life.

being separated from san luis obispo during all of this has been the most amazing experience. amazing.

well alright little readers, what few i have left, that's it.

i've started an anonymous blog and i'm loving that, i'm not staying at this blog... just knew some of you did deserve an update since we dont keep too much in touch.


meg said...

maybe keep up the sweetness for us?

Dreams Are Always Within Reach said...

seth and i are going through wild things... i love him as my friend with all my heart but we are in super tough marriage times... but just because i dont 'feel' it all doesn't mean i'm bailing... i'm trying to love beyond that... in action... and not because i'm a christian who thinks divorce is wrong.. i'm not a christian.. but i have the capacity to love deeply, fiercely and strong despite.. in feeling and even more in action.

quote taken from skylana, bryan stupar blog post.

skylana said...

Yep, I said that and it's true. Good job copying and pasting.

Anonymous said...

Good luck! It takes a very brave person to walk away from a marriage that will not be healthy for either the couple or the children. I guess that is just a hard fact for people to absorb. It doesn't mean there has to be a bad guy. People just don't get that either. I wish you the best. Thanks for sharing all this time.

ohhellocupcake said...

nice to read your words again, sweetie.

Sarah said...

i'm saddened to read about the news, and even though you believe it's what is best, i know it must still be painful. i'm sorry.

Mother Victorious said...

I have been reading for a long while now. Never really said anything....but I hope all is well and I am thinking about you down here in Australia. Hope all is well. Your girl's are the cutest things...