all i needed was booze and tobacco.

i went out on my balcony tonight and smoked a nat sherman.

everything was there, the smoke invading my lungs, the crickets singing loudly, people talking under the summertime moon... everything but the choking depth of humid florida air.

and lindsey.


when i lived in florida i lived with a lovely young lady named lindsey. nothing has been like what we had. she only watched lifetime, she was from tennessee and together we made the best cajun chicken in the world. we made almost daily trips to walmart and we slept in the same bed... we then woke up early together, got gorgeous and drove to the aveda institute in the same car. there is not much i loved more than sitting on the balcony with her while we smoked, with our lifetime movie paused inside. she hated the heat and i adored it. i don't think i will ever love anyone the way i loved her.

as i'm sure i have said, florida will always have a most dear place in my heart. it was there that i first found me again. it was there that i first felt my world crushing, beautiful freedom... freedom i hadn't felt for the past 2 years, or more.

i loved being scared that a hurricane was going to hit your house, putting everything up, taping the windows, staying bunkered down watching endless newscasts until it ended... or driving around in dangerous winds to see the sight of enormous trees that have broken down billboards.

i loved that the highest place in the entire county was a bridge, a very low bridge.

i loved searching for life with polly out by the water. seeing catfish for the first time. i wish i would have soaked polly up.

i am a california girl, through and through. this is my home.


but my lover.. my lover is florida.