Tuesday, June 9, 2009
i'm gonna have my 20's
.... i'm going to have my children too.
and i'm going to do it well.
smoking and drinking has the same affect on me that 'worshiping' or 'god' did. i can go out on my balcony with a glass of wine and a cigarette, look at the magnificent hills behind my home and feel the things i felt when i got down on my knees in church. peace, awe, love, hope, freedom, air. no wonder i needed to find god when i was done partying... i had to find something to fill that hole. haha. seriously though....
both these things are chemical highs you get from an outside source, well maybe one is from an inside source... i know some people really think the creator of the universe is interacting with them... and you know what? maybe he is.. but i think its us. we get all emotional and feed off of the atmosphere and create an emotional high that feels like something more. its not, its just our mind, chemicals creating a feeling that we like. the thing is, with smoking and drinking i feel more sober.
i'm glad i've found my new religion.