hopefully this doesn't send shock waves around the world.
if it does, its worth it.
i just watched the SADDEST birth i have ever seen. it was the woman's third child, she went in to get induced, she got induced, he came and checked her, she was 5cm... he told her he was gonna break her water... then laughed and said 'oh, is that ok with you?' ... he broke her water and then gave her pitocin. she was in absolutely no pain. she kept saying she wasn't in pain and she was afraid that she wasn't gonna get the epidural soon enough and she might feel a little 'uncomfortable'. her contractions never started hurting... she got an epidural. he checked her after a bit, still she just laid there like NOTHING was going on....she felt like she needed to push but she said 'oh i'm probably wrong' and the nurse said 'most likely if you feel you have to, you're ready' the doctor came, she was 10cm... he told her he was going to turn the epidural off and she just kept whining about how she didn't want to feel one little bit of pain and that when she pushed it better come out really fast. she pushed and when she did the nurse had to tell her how to push and for how long and the baby was out fast. she mentioned how she has never tried to have a natural birth because she's always been to afraid to even feel the pain. i can't even believe that someone could have given birth to three kids and has never even felt what labor is like! that's so outrageous.
there are so many things about this that make me sooooo sad. sad that she doesn't see herself as strong enough to bear that pain and overcome it. sad that she doesn't trust her body or herself enough to listen to what its telling her and do it. she has no idea what she's missing out on and all she cared about was getting the baby out without every feeling any part of the experience. it was just sooooo insane to see a birth completely run by the doctor. everything she did was because the doctor said, the whole experience was just like if you went to the doctor and laid in a bed while they poked and prodded you except in the end a baby came out. seeing the way the doctor treated her was so foreign to me. he wasn't mean, he was totally nice, just so business. this is his job, but that's all he treated like. there was no heart, no relationship in what happened in that room. it was a medical procedure that she was having done to her. she never got up, never moved, never felt a contraction, didn't know how to push for herself.... i dont understand how this is looked at as normal?!!? she said when she was getting the epidural 'in no other situation would i do this, but i'm having a baby, so i need it'... talking about in no other circumstance would she take drugs like that... so what i dont get is why would the one time you see fit to do it be the one time there's a baby living inside you? and i just feel so sad that she thinks she needs it. women are strong, women are made to birth babies and our bodies are amazing. they do it and they do it better than anything, with strength and grace... but she doesn't know that her body can do that, no one told her she could.. no one believed for her that she could.
i'm sooooo thankful i had people around me to encourage me that i could do this, that i was strong and i didn't have to be afraid... i'm so thankful i had an army of people who loved me and believed in me and lifted me up when i felt broken and pushed me through... i'm so thankful that now i truly know what i am capable of and that i have accomplished one of the greatest things you can in life... i allowed my body to birth my children. i didn't let a doctor run my birth, i didn't let drugs artificially make my body do the work, and i wasn't absent from the experience... and because of those things my life was changed through those births. it makes me so sad when women dont get to experience this, or willingly choose not to. they'll never know what they've missed.